He's my son
by lizzieten
Summary: Sam hasn't been feeling well and collapses at school. is there a cure for what's going on with him or is it too late to save sam. limp sam loving and caring John and Dean.
1. Chapter 1

He's my son

Sam Winchester woke to the sound of his alarm clock blaring in his ear, and his older brother shaking him.

"Come on Sam, get up" Dean grumbled Sam had never been a heavy sleeper, he wondered why he starting to get so hard to wake up lately. This was the fourth time this week; Dean had to assist the alarm clock in waking Sam. Surely, their hunting had nothing to do with it. Sam hadn't been researching past his normal time, or even hunting real late.

"I'm awake" Sam mumbled turning on his side to shove Dean away. "Leave me alone."

"Not until you're up and getting ready for school" Dean insisted, knowing Sam was likely to just roll over and go back to sleep.

"Don't wanna go to school" Sam mumbled caused Dean to stare at him. Sam loved school so if he didn't want to go something was going on. Dean wondered if Sam was being bullied, after all it wouldn't be the first time. If that was the case however Dean, would be happy to make a trip to the school and pay a little visit with said bully. It would be the last time the kid bullied anyone; Dean would make sure of that. But even as Sam rolled back over onto his stomach, Sam's shirt slide up showing his lower back, which was covered in bruises.

"What the hell" Dean shouted as he leaned over and pushed his brother's shirt up, only to see even more bruises littering his back, all the up to his shoulder blades. Someone was hurting his brother which meant someone was going to pay and pay dearly. In fact Dean was going to find out who had caused this and he would make them look worse.

"Dean, cut it out" Sam croaked as his throat was bothering him and he could barely speak.

"Who done this to you Sammy" Dean ask lowly anger vibrating in his voice.

"Done what?" Sam asked confused as to what Dean was talking about.  
"Don't act like you don't know" Dean growled "there's no way you could not know if someone was beating up on you" Sam stared at Dean, he still didn't know what Dean was talking about no one had been beating up on him.

John was in the kitchen making coffee when he heard Dean growl at Sam. That made him curious, Dean very rarely got angry at his fourteen year old brother even when Sam was being stubborn as all get out. He wondered about Sam lately, the kid had been slacking off, would get home from school do his homework and go straight to bed if there wasn't anything John needed him to do. Each morning he got harder and harder to wake up it was almost as if the kid didn't get any sleep the night before. John wondered if Sam had some kind of infection or maybe was coming down with a cold. It would explain the kid's behavior lately. Sam was far too meek to be considered normal; he was used to Sam going against everything he said even if John knew what he was talking about. He loved Sam dearly, he did but the kid could test the patience of a grizzly. Shaking his head as if to clear his thoughts, John headed into the room the boys shared to see if Dean needed a hand in getting Sam out of bed.

He wasn't surprised to see Sam still lying on the bed pulling his shirt down and glaring at Dean for all he was worth. Dean wasn't being affected by the glare in the least; just kept on trying to get Sam to talk.

"Sam get your lazy butt out of bed" John called out in a gruff voice. "We don't have time for you to lie about all day; you and Dean both have to get to school."

"I'm not lazy" Sam grumbled even though talking at all hurt his throat. Shoving Dean away from him he glared at his older brother again before shoving his legs over the side of the bed and standing shakily to his feet. "And I am NOT getting beat up at school so drop it" Sam growled as he past Dean, and moved into the restroom that was next to the bedroom.

John watched Sam's interaction with Dean silently, he knew something was up with Sam; because the kid just wasn't ever that moody towards Dean.

"What's going on?" John asked Dean once Sam was out of the room.

"His back is covered in bruises and he insists he is not getting beat up at school." Dean said frustrated he only wanted to help his brother but Sam didn't seem to understand that right now.

Glancing down at his watch John cursed, this little situation with Sam made him late for an appointment.

"I'll have a little talk with him when he gets home from school. If somebody's hurting him, we'll find out" John said walking back out of the room. He hated the fact he felt like hunting was becoming more important than his family. But he didn't see any way he could stop it. He had been trying to find the yellow eyed demon for far too long to quit now.

Twenty minutes later with John already gone in the impala, Dean and Sam were walking to the school that was only three block from the small house they currently rented. Sam was pointedly ignoring Dean. He was trying to get his own thoughts together; he wasn't sure how to state his worries. He knew no one was beating him up at school or at home, which could only mean it was some kind of infection or worse. Sam didn't want to think about the or worse scenario. He wondered if there would be a way he could get checked out discreetly without anyone telling his father or Dean. If he found out what was going on he then he could discuss the situation with his family. He didn't want them to worry them when it might not even be that bad.

Sighing as they reached the school, Sam waved at his brother and they went off in their separate directions. Sam made his way into his classroom and made a beeline for his desk. He was early enough he was the only one in the classroom. Sitting down Sam lay his head on his desk and promptly feel asleep. Only to be roughly shaken awake by the teacher only twenty minutes later.

"May I suggest you get to bed at a decent hour Mr. Winchester" His teacher Adam Brown said. Sam nodded slowly but didn't say anything. "I do hope you have your report and your ready to give your presentation to the class" Mr. Brown asked and Sam once again nodded.

"Yes, Sir, been ready since Friday" Sam said quietly, his throat was hurting something awful, it felt like it was starting to swell, and it was hard to swallow.

"In the case you can go first" Mr. Brown said as he called the classroom to order, and then called Sam to the front of the room. Sam hated doing presentations but he had worked hard on this one, as he stood to his feet, he suddenly felt light headed, groaning softly his legs crumpled and he collapsed to the floor his head hitting the corner of the desk as he landed unconscious beside his desk.

**Should I continue? Thanks for reading and reviewing Liz**


	2. Chapter 2

He's my son

Chapter two

Dean was sitting in his history class, one hand in his pocket playing with his phone. He didn't know why but he had a feeling Sam needed him. The longer he sat there and tried to ignore it, the stronger it got. He heaved out a breath ignoring the stares it earned him.

"Problems Winchester?" his instructor asked sensing his student have problems paying attention. Dean had always trouble paying attention but today was worse than usual.

"Yeah" Dean said sounding frustrated, he stood and stuffed his books into his bag. His little brother needed him. Teachers wouldn't be able to keep him away from Sam. "My brother needs me" Dean said and walked out the door and into the hallway without waiting for a response from his teacher.

Dean strode down the hallway, walking fast trying not to run. He couldn't explain this feeling he had, but so help anybody who would try to stop Dean at this moment. He arrived at Sam's room just in time to see his little brother pass out and hit his head on his desk on his way down to slamming it into the concrete floor.

"Sam" Dean called out upon entering the room; he rushed to Sam's side and kneeled down beside his brother.

"Sammy, come on wake up" Dean said softly taking his brother's head and placing it into his lap. He gently wiped away the blood that was threatening to flow into Sam's eyes.

"Call 911" Dean turned and shouted at the teacher not caring if he got yelled at or not. Sam needed a doctor and Dean was going to make sure he got one.

"The medics are on the way" Sam's teacher said hanging the phone up and joining Dean at Sam's side. Mr. Brown reached down to lightly slap Sam's cheek to try to rouse him.

"Don't touch him" Dean growled, he was viciously protective of Sam, and Sam was even more vulnerable unconscious. Dean wouldn't let anyone but medical professionals and they were only allowed to work around him.

Mr. Brown using common sense backed off and only watched as Dean tried to bring the unconscious young man around. He wondered if the youngest Winchester was sick, the kid was awful pale looking and Mr. Brown could see light colored bruises on his arms. He would have thought that the kid was being abused expect for the loving care he was receiving from the older Winchester. He hoped whatever was going on that Sam wasn't really sick. He was the brightest kid in the class and had always enjoyed hearing what the young man had to say during debates.

Ten minutes later found Sam still unconscious which was really starting to worry Dean. He wondered if he had a head injury along with whatever else was going on with him. He hoped not, it was the last thing their family needed to deal especially while they were actively hunting. Dean took a deep breath and tried to hold back the panic. _It's not as bad as it looks_ he tried to tell himself.

"Where the hell are the medics" Dean growled all he wanted was for Sam to get help. It seemed like help was taking its time. _Maybe it needs a little kick in the ass to encourage it. _Dean snorted at the thought although he figured at the rate they were going somebody's ass was getting kicked the moment they walked through the door. No one left Sam hurting no matter who they were.

What seemed like centuries later but was probably only later the medics finally entered the room. They noticed immediately the highly protective older teen keeping all the other kids at bay.

"Bet he's the kids older brother" One of the medics mouthed.

"I bet your right." His partner said as they approached the unconscious teen lying on the floor.

"How long as he been unconscious?" Matt asked kneeling down beside Sam and placing two fingers on his neck.

"Fifteen minutes" Dean replied knowing it wasn't a good fact.

"Has he woke up at all?" Matt asked concerned, this kid at some point should have regained consciousness. Dean shook his head no.

"He did hit his head pretty hard on the desk and then again on the floor when he passed out." Matt leaned over and pulled up one of Sam's eyelids. Flashing a light in the both of them he noticed they reacted sluggishly.

"Well, he definitely is concussed even so with him still being unconscious it's cause for concern. We need to get a brain scan on him stat." Matt said looking at his partner.

Dean watched them silently lift Sam onto the gurney, his heart was racing, and he could literally feel the terror racing through his veins.

"You better be careful with him" Dean growled as they were pushing Sam out of the classroom and down the hall. Dean hot on their heels, John was going to need to know about this latest development. For once Dean dreaded talking to his father; he wasn't sure how he would react to this kind of news. After all it wasn't like Sam went around passing out on a regular basis, this was a whole new ballgame. And the rules worried Dean to death, he wasn't sure how things were supposed to go, but one thing he knew for sure was that something was seriously wrong with his brother.

Once the medics had Sam loaded into the ambulance; without being asked if he was coming with. Dean climbed in and sat beside Sam clutching his hand.

"What's the deal with Sam still being unconscious?" Dean asked because he knew the medic was more worried about that then the fever Sam was currently running.

"It's never good for a concussed person to remain unconscious, it could mean Sam is in a coma, or that something is wrong with his brain. He could have swelling or even bleeding none of which is good, and none of which I don't think has anything to do with Sam passing out." Matt said. He hated to add even more pressure to the older brother's shoulder but he figured it would be better to tell Dean the truth.

"Sam hasn't really been feeling well lately I don't think" Dean said "he's been hard to wake up lately, but he goes to sleep pretty easily, and just this morning I discovered bruises littering his back."

Matt frowned all of what Dean was telling him was starting to sound pretty serious to him.

"You didn't think anything abnormal might be wrong?" he asked as he once again checked Sam's pulse.

"No, I figured he was getting bullied at school, it's not like it's been the first time that's happened." Dean said. "Why do you think something is wrong?"

"I'm no doctor and Sam could end up having nothing more than some kind of infection, but he should have been brought in to see the doctor before this happened." Matt hated the look of guilt in the brother's eyes. It was pretty obvious Dean was blaming himself for whatever was happening with his brother.

"Hey, most people miss these kinds of signs, I'm only aware of things like this because it's a part of my job." Matt said as the vehicle started to slow down and made a right turn.

"You don't get it" Dean muttered "I usually always know what's going on with Sam, it's like I have this sixth sense when it comes to him. I should have known something was going on after all Sam just doesn't get sick."

Once at the hospital the doors to the ambulance was thrown open and Dean jumped out and watched as they pushed Sam through the double doors and refused to let Dean go back with him.

"We'll do everything we can for him, fill out the paper work and leave Sam's care to us" a kindly older nurse who looked to be in her early fifties said as she shoved Dean towards the waiting room. Dean scowled he desperately wanted to be where Sam was just in case fate decided it was time for Sam to leave this planet. Although Dean didn't really think it would come to that yet anyways.

Sighing and feeling helpless Dean grabbed the clipboard and headed towards the hard plastic chairs that every hospital seemed to prefer. Sitting he tried to focus on filling out the paper work, but he couldn't concentrate his mind kept going back to what Matt had said in the ambulance. Sam still being unconscious could mean he was in a coma, or he could have bleeding in the brain and on top of all that, Sam had some kind of serious infection, that was possibly life threatening. Feeling stressed Dean put the clipboard down into the seat beside him and ran his hand through his hair. He really just wanted to slam his head into the wall at the rate things were going. Sam was supposed to be helping with research not sitting in a hospital having tests run all the time. And at some point Dean was going to have to pick up his phone and call his father to let him know what was going on.

Heaving out a breath Dean figured the wait wasn't getting any shorter and he should just call John, maybe he wouldn't end up waiting by himself for so long. Digging the phone out of his pocket he speed dialed his dads number and then put the phone to his ear.

"Winchester" His father's gruff voice said as it answered on the first ring.

"Dad" Dean said quietly not sure how to break the news about Sam.

"What are you doing calling me during school hours?" John asked "Is something going on that I need to know about, did you finally get caught fighting."

"That wasn't fighting that was teaching a punk not to pick on Sam" Dean grumbled thinking about the previous school they had been in. the kid had been picking on and publicly humiliating Sam. Dean caught wind of what was going on shortly and paid the kid back, by beating the crap out of him.

"Anyways to answer your question no I did not get caught fighting. Sam got rushed to the hospital" Dean said. The sudden silence on the other end of the phone told Dean his father was now paying attention.

"What happened?" he demanded feeling protective over his boys. "was it another bully?"

"Not this time no" Dean said "he collapsed in class, don't know why."

"What hospital are you at?" John asked knowing Dean would be impatient as hell while it came to waiting on news about Sam and he would most likely worry himself to death. Dean rattled off the name and John told him he would see him in ten minutes. It was a twenty minute drive from where John was currently investigating what was looking like a haunting. He didn't mind breaking a few laws to get to his boys, nothing not even the cops would be able to keep him from getting to that hospital.

Sure enough ten minutes later John had pulled in the hospital and had found a place to park. He hurried into the ER to find Dean still sitting in the waiting room staring at a wall lost in thought.

"Dean, have you heard anything?" John asked approaching him quietly.

"No" Dean replied turning to look at his father, "I was sure I would have heard something by now." John sat down beside Dean. He wondered how things had gotten this bad without him or Dean even noticing what was going on. He had accused Sam of being lazy earlier; he wondered if whatever had made Sam collapse was the same thing making Sam hard to get out of bed. He had a feeling things were only going to get worse from here, he just hoped his family would be able to get through the coming storm.

They waited for another hour before a doctor exited the double doors and headed towards the waiting room.

"Winchester family?" she called out, Dean and John glanced at each other before standing and heading to where she stood.

"Sam's my son" John said, he was almost afraid of what the nurse was going to be telling them.

"If you will follow me we can discuss your son's condition" she said. That being said they headed back into the double doors and started down the hall.

"We have completed a head scan on Sam, and unfortunately have discovered he does have a small bleed in his brain." Dean stared at her, and this wasn't even what he had been brought in for.

"What can you do about it?" John asked feeling a jolt of fear in his heart for his baby.

"We can operate and put a tube in to drain the blood, it's relatively routine so I wouldn't expect any complications from it" Doctor Ashley Sinclair said. She could tell from the expressions on the men's faces the news had terrified them.

"But you do expect complications?" John asked as if sensing that there was something the nurse wasn't saying.

"His blood work has me concerned" she said "he has a much high white blood cell then is normal, of course, this could mean an infection but from the symptoms I am seeing in Sam things are not good, I think it would be best if Sam is referred to a pediatric oncologist."

**So quite a bit longer than I normally write, I hope you like it. Thanks for taking the time to read and review! Liz. Hope you enjoyed the slightly overprotective Dean. **


	3. Chapter 3

He's my son

Chapter three

"Oncology?" Dean asked horror dawning on his face "You don't think Sammy has cancer do you?" he swallowed hard, people died from cancer, and from what Dean knew about it made them really, really sick. John understood how Dean felt; it was a terrifying thought of Sam having cancer.

"We're not totally sure that it's cancer yet" Dr. Ashley said gently knowing this would be hard news for the men to hear; it was obvious they loved the child in question.

"How are you going to know for sure?" Dean asked praying that whatever they done it wouldn't turn out to be cancer.

"After we try to get the brain bleed under control, we're going to go in and perform a bone marrow aspiration, which is where a long needle is inserted into the hipbone, the needle takes out the bone marrow and we can test that for leukemia." Dr. Ashley said. Dean swallowed again, he didn't want Sam to have to go through that but if it was needed for them to know if Sam had cancer or not bring it on. Dean would be right there by Sam's side.

"Will it be painful?" John asked he couldn't bear the thought of either of his boys being in pain.

"It will be a little sore but nothing major, it will be the results that bring the most hope or the most turmoil." She replied. John sighed he should have seen this coming. It seemed whenever things were going well for them something went wrong. He supposed everybody had their ups and down's but it seemed like the Winchesters had more downs then anyone he knew.

"If he does have cancer what happens next?" John asked.

"How about we cross that bridge when we get to it?" Ashley said she hated having to tell families their loved ones had cancer so she tended to put it off until she knew for sure that said person had it.

"Guess you have a point" John said "it won't stop me from worrying about it until we know one way or the other."

"I guess that's true if I was in your position I would worried considering what all they symptoms are saying" Ashley said.

"Is he is surgery for the bleed yet?" Dean asked, hoping he would get the chance to see his little brother before they started operating.

"Not yet" Ashley said "but they need too soon, there's no telling what kind of damage there will be if we wait much longer."

"Damage?" John and Dean asked at the same time, glancing at his dad, Dean wondered if the night could get any worse.

"Brain damage, his mobility skills could be affected, as well as speech, could have trouble learning things." Ashley said and as soon as she saw Dean's face she knew she'd said too much.

Dean found the nearest trash can and vomited. He didn't want to think about Sam being irreparably damaged. John hated the thought just as much as Dean did. Sam was one of the smartest kids he knew, to think he wouldn't be the same was horrible.

John walked over and put his hand on Dean's back.

"She didn't say that's the way it was, she said he could be damaged." John said knowing it wasn't much comfort but he needed to be able to do something for Dean. This was no easy journey they were about to embark on.

"I want to see him before he goes into surgery" Dean said standing straighter and wiping his mouth off with his sleeve. He appreciated John's efforts, since in the past John hadn't really seemed to care about what happened with Sam.

"You can have five minutes with him" Ashley said "but I must warn you the situation is pretty dire, the blood can't be left on his brain."

"I just need to see Sam" Dean repeated he understood how bad the situation was. Did he ever. But he had to let Sam know he would be by his side the entire way, Dean wasn't going anywhere.

Five minutes later Dean and John were standing in a treatment room, Sam lying on a bed in the middle of the room, still unconscious. That scared Dean even more then he already was. Walking over Dean reached down and grabbed Sam's limp hand in his.

"Kiddo, I don't have long to stay with you, I just want to let you know I'm going to right here when you wake up. I won't leave the hospital until we know what's going. So don't be scared big brother is here to take care of you" Dean said softly even as the terror in his heart grew. There was a chance his brother was brain damaged and would never be the same again.

"Be positive Dean" John said from the other side of Sam's bed. "He needs you to be strong for him right now, to have faith in him." John said quietly even though he himself was still having trouble processing all the information they had been given. He still found it hard to think Sam might have cancer.

"Time to prep him for surgery" Ashley said coming back into the room after giving the men some alone time with the youngest of their family.

"I'm not going anywhere Sammy" Dean said as him and John were ushered out of the room. "I'll be right here when you get out." Wondering back out to the waiting room, Dean walked over to the window and stared out. He should have known something like this would happen, Sam would collapse from something else entirely and get treated for an injury incurred during the fall. If only Dean hadn't ignored that feeling for so long, maybe then he could have stopped this surgery from ever having to happen.

John sat down and watched Dean, he knew what Dean was thinking. He should have been able to stop this from happening, but Dean was only one person, he didn't control the world, or even in this matter, fate. Thinking back to this morning John remembered getting annoyed at Sam's lack of interest in getting out of bed. He had been planning on giving Sam a stern lecture after school. He had accused Sam of being lazy, even though Sam worked just as hard if not harder on their cases researching, and participating in the actual hunt. Sighing, John felt like the worst father on the planet. How many other father's had something serious going on with their child and they accused the poor kid of being lazy. He would make it up to Sam somehow. John snorted he had a lot of years to make up for him being negligent. He'd had good intentions from the start but somewhere along the way he had lost sight of what was truly important. Even if Sam didn't have cancer he wasn't going to feel like he didn't measure up anymore, Dean either for that matter. Standing up, John stretched, Dean would be about as unmovable as a mountain while Sam was in surgery, and John would be the same. They would mount a constant vigilance to protect the youngest member of the family.

**Hope you like this chapter, thanks for reading and reviewing, probably won't be any more updates for a few days, we shall see. Anyways have a great rest of the week Liz**


	4. Chapter 4

He's my son

Chapter four

Dean paced the floors while waiting to hear news on Sam. He was worried that Sam would somehow come out of the surgery damaged and he wouldn't be the same kid that went in, and to top it off chances were good that Sam had cancer.

"You're stressing yourself out" John said watching hid elder son pace back and forth across the tile.

"Speak for yourself" Dean muttered, John was just as worried about Sam as he was.

"You're only going to make yourself sick; it's not doing you any good worrying." John hated waiting; he wished he knew what was going on now. Better to deal with it now, then having to deal with it later. He wasn't sure what he would do if Sam wasn't the same, and add cancer to that wasn't going to make things very easy. John sighed. He guessed somehow this was his payment for the hunting lifestyle he forced the boys to live. If he could go back and change things, he would have just so they wouldn't be here waiting to find out if Sam was normal or have cancer or not.

"This day has royally sucked" Dean said breaking John out of his thoughts. "I don't think anything worse could happen." He sat down beside John though he still felt like pacing.

"I wouldn't say that if I were you" John said "things can always get worse." Dean scowled he knew that, he just didn't want to focus on it. He wanted to think that Sam would come out alright, that he wouldn't have cancer, cause if he gave into the thoughts on what could go wrong he would drive himself crazy.

An hour and a half later the surgeon exited the operating room doors, and headed towards the surgical waiting room. He had a family waiting to hear about their youngest member. He was glad that he would be able to tell them good news instead of bad. It didn't always work out that way; more times than he could count he had brought a family news that their loved one hadn't made it through the surgery. He was especially glad that wasn't the case with this particular case, he had a feeling, he would have been seeing both of them in the morgue, it seemed to him that if it was possible to love anyone too much, that these two men clearly had a bad case.

Arriving at the waiting room, he walked towards the only family waiting patiently for news.

Dean looked up as soon as he sensed a person's presence coming towards them. He prayed the doctor had some good news for them; it had seemed they had gotten bad news all day long.

"Sam came through the surgery just fine, with absolutely no complications" Dr. Wolf said watching the family heave a sigh of relief.

"What about brain damage?" Dean asked "When will you know anything about that?"

"We will know when he wakes up from the anesthesia but I can tell you when the cat scan was ran, there was no sign of any significant damage so I don't think you should be too worried about that, but at this point anything is possible."

"Yeah, you don't know about our bad luck" Dean muttered "Everything starts out fine but turns to hell soon after." Dr. Wolf chuckled there was something about the young man that made him like him. He seemed to be like a mountain that couldn't be moved. Dr. Wolf sensed that he would go to hell and back just to protect Sam, he sensed the same from the father.

"We're in the process of moving Sam into a recovery room so it might be a few minutes before you can see him" Dr. Wolf said anticipating Dean's next question.

"Looks like you have mind reading down to an art" John commented, grinning at the nearly grey headed doctor.

"You will if you do what I do long enough" Dr. Wolf replied drily. "I've been around long enough to have seen about every expression a person can make."

Dean was immensely relieved that one hurdle had been cleared, now to get the other one out of the way. He wondered how soon after this surgery it would be before they took Sam in to take out some bone marrow. He wanted to know, so he could prepare himself to comfort Sam or be whatever it was Sam needed him to be.

Twenty minutes later found the elder Winchesters being led down the hall to the room where Sam was currently being held. Walking in Dean headed straight for the chair closest to Sam and plopped down to watch his brother sleep. John shook his head and went and sat down in the chair beside Dean.

Sam was still sound asleep and from the looks of things, he was still going to be asleep for a while. The steady rhythm of the heart monitor brought a little more comfort, it let the two men know their youngest was still hanging in there and wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

John watched silently as the youngest slept peacefully, reached out he brushed Sam's hair out of his eyes. He hadn't seen Sam rest peacefully for who knew how long. He hated that it took something like this to happen for Sam to get rest. He wished he had never dragged the boys into hunting, then maybe none of this would have happened.

"It's not your fault you know" Dean spoke up, he had been watching John silently. "This has nothing to do with hunting, nothing you done caused this, you didn't make anything go wrong with his blood work."

John chuckled. It was like Dean to be able to read his mind.

"Yeah, well I don't like seeing him here; it's making me wonder if there was something I could have done to prevent this from happening."

Dean was about to answer when the door opened and another doctor they had never seen before walked through.

"Sam's family I presume?" she asked even though she knew it could only be family with him at the time.

"Duh" Dean answered "Who else would we be , Sam's kidnappers?" John scowled and slapped the back of Dean's head. He had thought he had raised Dean with better manners than that.

"You'd be surprised" she replied "it's happened before on more than one occasion."

"Anyways I am Andrea Luttrell, I'm the pediatric oncologist" she said introduced herself.

"I'm Dean, Sam's older brother and that old man over there is John our father." Dean said poking his father in the shoulder. John scowled at him again.

"We took the liberty of getting the bone marrow while Sam was still unconscious" Andrea said, hating herself for what she was about to tell this family.

"Do you have the results yet?" Dean asked as a dark feeling creeped over him. The news wasn't going to be good.

"I'm afraid Sam does indeed have leukemia."

**Don't kill me! I couldn't resist ending it there, next chapter will be more detailed on his type of cancer and they will be discussing treatment options. So thanks for reading and reviewing. See you next chapter. Liz**


	5. Chapter 5

He's my son

Chapter five

Dean stared at Dr. Luttrell in disbelief, she had to be lying there was no way Sam could possibly have cancer.

"I know it comes as quite a shock" Andrea said gently feeling uncomfortable with the way Dean was staring. "I need you to understand this diagnosis of cancer isn't necessarily a death sentence; it can be beat."

"May not be a death sentence" Dean remarked "but it will make Sam miserable."

"I won't lie" Andrea said "it's going to be a long hard road and he's going to need a lot of support but this battle doesn't have to be one that is lost."

"I'll be with Sam every step of the way" Dean said firmly. Though he knew it would kill him to watch Sam suffer through the treatment that was required to save his little brother's life.

Dean looked over at his father; John hadn't said a word in the last five minutes instead John was silently watching Sam sleep. Shock could clearly be seen in his eyes. Dean couldn't blame him for being shocked he was still having trouble believing accepting that Sam had a disease that could very easily end his short life.

"What can be done?" Dean asked turning around to face the doctor once more.

"Intensive chemotherapy" Dr. Andrea replied "but I would rather discuss treatment options when Sam wakes up and has been told the news. It gives you more time to adjust to the situation at hand."

"How does one adjust to something like this?" Dean wondered out loud. He dreaded telling Sam what was going on, because he knew how Sam would react.

"When given the right circumstances you would be surprised at what people figure out they can do." Andrea said "Sam needs a fighting chance but I believe he will pull through just fine." That being said the doctor turned and walked out of the room leaving Dean alone with his sleeping brother and his nearly catatonic father.

"So where do we go from here?" Dean asked "this stop was only temporary, what do we do now that we have this diagnosis?" for a few minutes John remained silent and Dean figured he wasn't going to say anything.

"I'm going to find us a place to stay" John answered quietly "and then we are going to seek the best treatment we can for Sam, he's not in this battle alone." Dean silently cheered he hadn't expected this much support from his father, knowing that he wasn't just going to leave Sam for a hunt made Dean feel ridiculously happy.

Standing John stretched his stiff limbs.

"I'm going house hunting see if I can a cheaper place close to the hospital, when he wakes call and let me know, I want to be hear when you tell him about the cancer." Turning his back John walked out the room, still feeling like he was somehow responsible for the current turn of events.

Dean sighed, bored now that the room was basically empty. He stood up and started quietly pacing the floors. The current situation was worrying, but Dean found himself more worried about Sam. The kid had recently been talking about cancer in one of his classes; he knew what a person would have to go through just to beat it. Dean was determined Sam wouldn't face anything alone, Sam didn't have to bear this burden alone, Dean would help him.

Twenty minutes later Dean paused in his pacing, when he heard a small noise come from the bed. He watched silently as Sam slowly and sluggishly opened his eyes.

"Hey, Sammy" Dean said softly, crossing the floor to get to his younger brother.

"Dean" he groaned quietly "what happened?" Dean was relieved there apparently wasn't any damage from the bleed. Thank god for small favors.

"You passed out in the middle of your class" Dean said "and got rushed to the hospital."

"Then why is my hip so soar did I bruise it or something?" Sam asked groggily. Dean frowned, how did he explain the doctors had stuck a long needle in him and had drawn out bone marrow to test for cancer? Dean had dreaded this moment all day, and the worst part was if Dean told him now, due to the effects of the anesthesia that had been used during his surgery, Dean didn't think Sam would remember anything about being told he had cancer, as much as he hated to lie to Sam. It would be better to do that then have to watch his reaction to the news twice.

"Something like that" Dean said "the important thing is you're doing okay at the moment, you came through surgery without any lasting problems."

Sam yawned but took Dean at his word, Dean had never lied to him before, and Sam didn't think he had any reason to start now.

"Will I be here long?" he asked still feeling rather sleepy.

"Depends on how you recover" Dean replied watching as his brother drifted back to sleep. He felt guilty for lying to him but what else could he really do? Dean sighed and sat back down in his chair, his day kept getting better and better.

Two hours later found Sam waking once again this time he was more alert. He was opening his eyes as John walked through the door.

"Nice to see you awake kiddo" John said quietly walking over and grabbing the seat beside Dean's chair.

"Did I die and go to heaven?" Sam wondered out loud causing Dean to laugh out loud.

"Must seem like it don't it?" he asked "You're used to having dad on your case about everything."

"Not this time though" John said clearly still feeling guilty. He ignored the sharp look Dean sent his way. He would always feel responsible for this situation.

"So what's really going on?" Sam asked wincing as turned over onto his sore hip. Dean hated the flash of pain that crossed his little brother's face. It didn't help that Dean knew along the way the pain would only get worse. He wished in that instant that he could trade places with his brother. Someone as kind and caring as Sam didn't deserve to be going through this. John sighed he wasn't ready to tell his baby this, and then again he didn't think he ever would be.

"I have some news for you that is not going to be easy to take" John began quietly reaching out and wrapping his hand around Sam's own. Dean had Sam's other hand firmly tucked in his own. Sam started feeling scared. His dad never openly showed the emotions he was feeling and he was certainly never openly caring with Sam.

"What's going on?" Sam asked weakly swallowing hard dreading his father's answer.

"The doctors ran a test while you were still unconscious; they were concerned about your white blood cell count" John said quietly "the tests results came back a little while ago."

"And?" Sam asked a strange feeling coming over him. He felt like things as he knew it were about to change forever. John took a deep breath and squeezed Sam's hand gently, god this was not easy, how did you tell your baby he had cancer?

"The tests came back as positive for leukemia." John finished watching his youngest son's face grow paler by the minute.

"You're lying" Sam shouted "you have to be lying! There's no way I can have cancer!" Dean felt tears prick his eyes as his little brother reacted in the only way he could have: in anger.

"Do you hate me so much that you wish I was dead?" Sam asked from between clenched teeth. He shut his eyes as tears flooded his own. He couldn't believe this how could his own father pretend to care about him and then tell him he had cancer?

"Why do you think you haven't been feeling well lately?" Dean asked quietly knowing Sam's accusations had badly hurt their father. He knew John loved them both, he had never once doubted it. Sam of course, had over the years after so many fights and arguments.

"It's the only thing that explains the bruises, and the way you've been sleeping a lot lately even though you go to bed at a decent hour." Dean knew his brother wouldn't think that he hated him.

"People DIE from cancer, Dean" Sam spoke in such a small voice that it tore through Dean's heart.

"Yes, they do" Dean agreed "But I'm going to be beside you every single minute, I won't let you give up! And I won't give you up" John smiled at the determination in Dean's voice. He could always count on Dean to make Sam see reason. It hurt that Sam thought John hated him, that he wished he was dead. That could never be the case, John wasn't a perfect father by any means but you couldn't question his love for his kids.

"Sam, you don't know how much I wish I could trade places with you right now" John said reached out and wiped Sam's tears away. "I wouldn't wish this on my worse enemy, more importantly my own baby."

"I'm scared" Sam said quietly "so scared! I don't know if I can do this or not"

"Yes you can" John said firmly "Dean and I believe in you. It doesn't hurt that your one of the strongest people I know for having put up with our lifestyle even though you don't want to"

"What about hunting?" Sam asked "what are you going to do while I'm sick?"

"Let's just say we're on a kind of permanent vacation" John said "We're going to focus on getting you better instead of getting revenge."

"You'll see" Dean said smirking at his father "You're going to be just fine, might be a hard road but you'll make it in the end and you will only be made stronger for having gone through it. And me and dad will be there till the end" Dean said reaching out and tugging Sam into his arms. His brother was worth this one chick flick moment.

**Not a fun chapter to write especially I'm pretty tired already, but anyways I hope you like it thanks ahead of time for reading and reviewing. Liz **


	6. Chapter 6

He's my son

Chapter six

Sam sighed, he was starting to get sleepy again but he needed to stay awake until the doctor came in to talk to them about treatment options. He glanced over at Dean, who was sleeping in the chair next to the bed. He had tried to get his brother to leave but Dean being stubborn refused to leave his side.

Sam was terrified about the news that had been given to him. he wondered how he would be able to get treatment when they lived on the road the majority of the time. Their dad had said he had found a small house close to the hospital, and a job working as a mechanic but Sam wasn't sure how long it would last. Eventually he knew John would want to pick up where they left off, and he wondered where that left him. Would John just dump him someplace and leave him to go through treatment alone? Sam wasn't sure and it made him afraid for the future. Then again if Dean had anything to say about it, Sam wouldn't be alone at all for the next however long it took to get him into remission.

As if sensing Sam's dark thoughts John looked up from his magazine. He hated seeing the doubt and fear in his youngest son's eyes. But he knew it was his fault that it was there to begin with.

"I will not leave you alone Sam" John said gently unsure about how to proceed with the situation. Dean had always been better at this then he was. "this is probably going to be one of the hardest things you have to do, I won't abandon you."

"I'm scared" Sam said "I already just want it over with. I'm already dreading whatever treatment option their working on. I'm already the weird person at school; cancer's just going to make it much worse for me."

"If they think you're weird it's because they haven't taken the time to get to know you" John said "if they had they would love you just as much as Dean and I do."

"Cancer is just another bump in the road" Dean said opening his eyes and looking over at Sam "It's going to slow you down but it's not going to stop you."

Sam gave a small smile, he was glad he had both John and Dean at his side. Even if John did tend to give him hell, Sam was glad he had his support.

Ten minutes later a small knock was heard on the door. A few seconds later Dr. Luttrell walked through the door. Sam swallowed hard. The moment he had been dreading was finally here.

"Hi Sam how are you feeling?" Dr. Luttrell asked

"Not too bad right now" Sam replied "My hip still hurts but it's not that bad."

"That's good. Dean and your father told you about your diagnosis?" she asked. Sam nodded.

"You understand it's not necessarily a death sentence. Many people have been diagnosed with Leukemia and have survived."

"Many have died from it too" Sam spoke quietly.

"That's true sometimes the treatment works for a while and then quits. We have no reason to believe that treatment won't work for you. We were able to catch it in the early stage which is always a good thing."

"When are we going to start?" Sam asked "I'm not looking forward to it, but as long as my families by my side I'm going to try my hardest to beat it."

"As soon as possible" Dr. Luttrell said "we don't want it to have too much of a head start."

"What if chemotherapy doesn't work?" Sam asked voicing his thoughts, he had heard about the drugs failing.

"We can try a bone marrow transplant" Dr. Luttrell said "we can take some bone marrow from a match preferably a sibling" she said looking over at Dean.

"Don't have to ask me twice" Dean said "I'll do whatever you need me too."

"We basically replace the cells that are destroyed by the cancer and the treatment." Andrea replied "but let's cross that bridge when we get to it."

"The chemotherapy will make me sick?" Sam asked though he already knew the answer.

"Yes, for the good it does against the cancer, it wreaks hell against the body and immune system." Dr. Luttrell replied. "it will cause vomiting, sores in your mouth, it'll be hard to eat, and to keep food down, but keep in mind you need to eat. Things like a normal cold can put you in the ICU, so really avoid people who are sick; it could kill you if you don't. Sam scowled the more symptoms she described the more he hated the disease.

"Will I lose my hair?" Sam asked.

"Most likely" Andrea said "most people do but a few get lucky and don't."  
"I can't wait to start" Sam said "the side effects are worse then the actual disease."

"Just think you can get through the side effects but if you don't have treatment the disease will kill you." She said, hoping the young boy didn't refuse treatment.

"If I refused how long would I have?" Sam knowing full well he would face the treatment head on for his family. He couldn't just refuse to not get treatment and then force his family to watch him die, he wasn't heartless.

"Less than a year, depending on how fast the cancer spreads" she said.

"I'm not planning on refusing treatment just so you know" Sam said when he caught the look Dean was sending him. "I'm not stupid I do want to live."

"That's a relief" Dean muttered relaxing now that he knew his little brother was willing to fight. "Like I said earlier I am not willing to let you go."

John sighed this situation was growing harder by the moment. He wished that Sam didn't have to go through any of this, he didn't deserve it. Why was it the best of people tended to suffer the most? John figured he would probably never understand it. one thing was certain Sam wasn't going to suffer alone, John would do whatever he could to ease his son's pain.

"Will I have to stay in the hospital?" Sam asked suddenly afraid that he would have to be separated from John and Dean.

"For the first couple of weeks, but once we get you adjusted to chemo we will let you go home as long as you are aware of the things that can make you sick." Dr. Luttrell said. "Which we are going to start chemo tomorrow so we can hopefully get your home soon."

"Joy" was all Sam said.

**This chapter kinda sucked I tried to find a specific drug to battle leukemia but I couldn't find anything. So just bare with me. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Liz**


	7. Chapter 7

He's my son

Chapter 7

Dean and John had reluctantly left Sam, a couple of hours after Dr. Luttrell had left. Even Dean couldn't get around their visiting hours though he tried his hardest.

"I'll be back in time for them to start chemo" Dean promised his glum looking brother. "Just remember look on the positive side, this drug is going to help you out in the long run."

"If it don't destroy me first" Sam said sighing, he didn't want his dad or Dean to leave. He didn't want to be left alone with his thoughts and fears

"Hey, don't be afraid" Dean said gently "remember you have an awesome big brother who will always be with you." Sam smirked. Dean would never change and for that he was grateful.

"He's right" John said "tomorrow is just another day."

"I only start the fight for my life" Sam remarked "I know and I'll get through the night I guess, I just don't want to be alone with my thoughts."

"I wouldn't want to be alone with your thoughts either" Dean said jumping back out of reach of his brother's fist.

"I'm not the one with a dirty mind" Sam muttered, staring at his father and brother, as if memorizing their features.

"We're not disappearing" John said "get some sleep and please stop worrying, Dean's going to do enough of that for all of us." Dean shot John a dirty look.

"It's the truth" John stated "You're already motherhenning Sam."

"I guess we better go" Dean said coming closer to the bed only to ruffle Sam's hair. "Remember we'll be back before you even head to chemo."

A few minutes later Sam was left alone, he was supposed to get some sleep to be ready for tomorrow. The only problem was Sam didn't think he would get any sleep tonight, and he most certainly wouldn't be ready. But he was willing to fight his hardest for his family. They were willing to put a hold on hunting so that he could get well, the least he could was fight. It seemed to take hours but Sam eventually fell asleep.

_ John and Dean were both wearing dark suits and were standing in a cemetery staring down at the marble stone in front of them the inscription read:_

_Sam Winchester_

_Loving brother and son_

_Born: 1983 _

_Died: 1997_

_Dean had tears in his eyes as he kneeled and his fingers traced the lettering on the stone._

_ "You said you wouldn't quit fighting, you wouldn't give up. So why are you dead?" Dean's accusing voice called out "why did you break your promise" _

_ John only stared at the ground, feeling bitter; his youngest had died at only fourteen years. He remembered Sam saying he would keep fighting for them, but after less than a year on chemo, the drugs had quit affecting the cancer, and no matter what other drug they had tried. The cancer hadn't responded and they had lost him after only a few months battle. _

_ "You said it wouldn't end this way, why are we here?" John asked quietly "did I not love you enough, was that why you died?" _

_ A few minutes later the two hunters walked away and left the youngest in his final resting place. _

Sam shot up out of his bed; tears were streaming down his face. He couldn't believe he had dreamed about that, that he had left his family. Remembering the hurt in their voices made Sam's heart break. He never wanted to hear them sound that way again. He vowed then and there no matter how sick the drugs made him, death would not be how this fight ended.

Sam lay back against the pillow; it was early morning at least. Chemo was going to start in a few hours, he should probably get some more rest but after that nightmare Sam doubted he would be able to get any more sleep. So he settled in to wait for his family to get there.

A few hours later Dean entered Sam's room, to find his little brother staring out at the window and looking like he hadn't slept all night.

"Have trouble sleeping?" Dean asked not liking the dark circles under his brother's eyes.

"Had a nightmare" Sam replied quietly not looking at Dean afraid for his brother to see the fear in him. Dean felt his brother's fear and walked over and sat on the bed.

"I know you're scared" he said softly "But me and Dad are here, there's nothing to fear as long as you have us."

"I guess your right" Sam said unable to get the way Dean looked in his dream out of his mind.

John walked in a few minutes later, carrying some more magazines. He took in Sam's pale face and dark circles under his eyes.

"I don't know who got less sleep" John said "you or Dean" Dean rolled his eyes.

"I slept just fine."

"After staying up well past 12" John said "worrying about Sammy and how he was sleeping."

"Looks like I had reason enough to worry" Dean replied as the door opened again and a doctor came in pushing a gurney.

"Ready to go Sam?" Andrea asked wishing she didn't have to put the kid through this nightmare.

"I guess" Sam said quietly, swallowing hard, as he got out of bed and climbed onto the gurney.

"Remember" Dean said quietly as the doctor and nurse started pushing Sam out of the room and down the hall. "Dad and I are going to be with you."

Twenty minutes later Sam was hooked up to an IV, the chemo slowly flowing into his bloodstream. As he sat there he imagined the chemo as an army attacking the bad cells and destroying them.

"Doing okay?" Dean asked from his chair beside Sam. Dean was just sitting there talking to Sam as the IV entered Sam's body. "You don't feel sick do you?"

"Not yet Dean" Sam answered he was glad Dean and John were with him, even if John was currently out of the room informing their few friends of the current situation.

"Did you want to talk about the nightmare you had?" Dean asked knowing it was still bothering Sam. He frowned and shook his head.

"I don't even want to remember it" he never wanted to think about his family grieving for him. it hurt to even consider it.

"Hey this is your chance for the only chick flick moment you'll get this entire time" Dean said "I'd take the chance before the opportunity is gone."

"I don't need to talk Dean" Sam said "if and when I want to discuss it I'll come find you." Dean smirked he figured Sam would spill his guts.

"If you insist" Dean said sitting back in his chair and staring up at the ceiling. It was killing him knowing what Sam would be going through with this treatment just to save his life, watching him go through it without actually being able to help was going to be hard too. He didn't know how he was going to do it. He had no doubt Sam could beat it, he just didn't think he would come out of the ordeal with his sanity intact.

John returned a few minutes later, he claimed the seat beside Dean.

"Bobby's on his way, and so is Jim," he announced knowing it was make Sam happier to know the family friends were on their way to offer their support. Unsurprisingly Sam reacted in the way he expected he would.

"When will they be here?" excitement could clearly be heard in his voice.

"Considering Bobby with Sioux falls, and Jim in Blue earth, it's probably going to take some time to get here." Dean said glad that Sam had something else on his mind to distract him from his nightmare.

"Kentucky is a long way from both places" John agreed. "So I would probably expect them late next week sometime."

Sam groaned his excitement momentarily forgotten as his stomach gurgled and he had to fight the urge to vomit. The aftereffects of chemo were starting, and he already hated it.

"Sam?" John asked watching his son's face go pale; he quickly reached over and grabbed a pail that had been waiting for just this occasion. He managed to get it in front of Sam just in time. Sam hurled straight into the bucket, feeling more miserable the longer he heaved.

"How will I be able to do this months at a time?" Sam asked in between bouts of sickness.

"One day at a time" Dean said gently as he reached over and rubbed circles in his back. He hurt seeing how miserable his brother was already. "You can do this; you just have to believe in yourself."

John had gotten up and wet a washcloth down and gently wiped Sam's face off. He wished he had the words to bring comfort to Sam, but he hadn't known what to say to him for years. He could kick himself for letting him get so out of touch with him.

**So it starts. And just to clarify this story is NOT going to be a deathfic, that was just a nightmare he had, product of the conversation had in the previous chapter. So no worries on that front. Thanks for reading and reviewing Liz.**


	8. Chapter 8

He's my son

Chapter 8

A little while later Sam was back in his room, and sleeping soundly. Dean and John beside him both lost in their own thoughts. The first treatment was done with, and for that they were glad. At least they knew what to expect now instead of having to worry, but they hated watching Sam suffer through it.

"Think Caleb will come with Pastor Jim?" Dean asked breaking the silence. "He's usually not too far from him."

"I'm sure Jim will tell him and he will come" John said "everyone is coming together for Sam, never know how strong a family is until something like this happens."

"I hope they get here earlier than expected, Sam's going to need a lot of support" Dean said looking over at his little brother, who had finally stopped heaving and had gone to sleep. "I can't believe the treatment is already affecting him, I thought it would take time to get used to it."

"I guess it works faster on some people than it does others" John said.

"I guess so" Dean said turning back to the magazine he was trying to read.

"Sam wakes up you better put that up" John said taking noticed of what exactly Dean was reading. "He doesn't need you reading busty Asian beauty's right in front of him."

"It will educate him" Dean said smirking, as John scowled.

"He doesn't need that kind of education right now." John shuddered thinking about it, some things he didn't want to bother with this was one of them.

"He's going to learn sometime you know" Dean said leaning back in his chair, "You might as well be the one to tell him."

"End of subject" John said feeling uncomfortable. Dean knew it and grinned, he didn't mind having fun at his father's expense. John rolled his eyes and stood and stretched.

"I'm going to go find us some dinner be back in a little bit" John said as he turned and walked out of the room. Dean nodded and went back to reading. Not long after John left, Sam started to wake.

"Hey kiddo" Dean said as he watched Sam's eyes open. "Still feeling sick?"

"Not right now" Sam said "But my throat feels like cotton." Dean stood grabbed the pitched that was on the stand beside the bed, pouring him some water, he held it to Sam's mouth and let him drink.

"First treatment down" Dean said "at least you know what's going to happen now."

"Only a million more treatments of this" Sam said.

"It sucks but in the long run it's going to help" Dean said "You have to remember that."

"I know" Sam mumbled still feeling a little weak. "Cancer survivors have to be the strongest people ever to have come through this stuff."

"That's true and soon enough you're going to be one of them." Dean said as he sat back down in his chair, his magazine out of Sam's sight.

"I hope so" Sam said turning to stare out the window. He glad his stomach wasn't turning anymore, he hated feeling nauseous.

John walked in a few minutes later carrying some takeout food.

"Think you can manage to keep a shake down?" John asked. Sam shrugged.

"Maybe, probably be easier than anything else."

John handed the shake to him figuring he wouldn't want any help with it. Sam didn't have much control over anything that was going on lately; John figured he would want to be able to something for himself since he couldn't do much else. It was a way to help Sam be independent in an environment that relied on dependence.

Sam managed to hold onto the cup and take a slow sip out of it. He was relieved to find it didn't turn his stomach.

"Thanks dad" he said quietly.

"I know this situation sucks but you really are going to be okay" John said "soon you're going to be smothered by Bobby and Jim" Dean looked up when John didn't mention Caleb, John shook his head. He wanted at least one pleasant surprise for Sam.

"Where's Caleb?" Sam asked even though the man was more Dean's age, Sam still liked him and enjoyed being around him.

"I think Jim said he was hunting a harpy" John said, taking out his hamburger and taking a bite.

Sam frowned he hated hunting harpies, of course he didn't like hunting anyways, but those creatures really grossed him out.

"Sucks to be him" Sam muttered taking another sip of his vanilla shake. "But better him hunting those bird wannabe's than me." Dean rolled his eyes, Sam couldn't make his distaste for hunting anymore plain. Of course, Dean couldn't blame him either. The hunting life didn't exactly leave room for a social life, or school life.

A few hours later Sam and Dean were playing poker on his bed, when the door opened, expecting it to be Dr. Luttrell Sam didn't bother looking up from his cards.

"Is that anyway to greet a person who has been stuck on a plane for the last three hours?" a cheerful voice asked walking into the room.

Sam looked up at once, Jim, Bobby and Caleb stood at the foot of his bed.

"Dad said you were hunting a harpy" Sam told Caleb, before turning to scowl at his father. Dean chuckled and stood and shook hands with the three men.

"Glad you could make it" John said standing and joining Dean in greeting them.

"Go anywhere for short stuff" Caleb said before claiming Dean's chair as his own.

"I'm not short" Sam huffed, though he wasn't in the least irritated.

"You're shorter than me" Caleb replied, sitting back and propping his feet on Sam's bed.

"Sure why not make yourself at home" Dean remarked, stealing John's chair.

"I will, not that I needed your permission" Caleb replied.

"The two stooges are at it again" Bobby commented.

**So not much happening in this chapter but I hope you enjoy it anyways, thanks for reading and reviewing Liz**


	9. Chapter 9

He's my son

Chapter 9

A little while later Sam drifted off to the sounds of Dean and Caleb bickering, while it had proven to be one of the hardest days of his life it had also proved to be one of the best, after all how many times did the friends come together with them outside of a hunt. Not very often.

Dean smiled Sam had finally lost the war against sleep, and for the first time since chemo had started Sam actually looked peaceful. He knew it was look that probably wouldn't last much longer, and he hated it. He hated this whole situation with passion, no one as kind and gentle as Sam deserved to be going through this. But obviously fate didn't agree, and was out to make them suffer but make Sam suffer more. Dean looked over at Caleb who was sitting comfortably in Dean's chair.

"I've come to the conclusion that fate is a bitch" Dean commented "its fate has made Sam suffer more than anyone should have to, and that's just not right."

"I agree with you, Sam shouldn't have to suffer so much, but I can tell you fate doesn't just draw a name out of a hat to pick her latest victim. It doesn't work like that."

"Hell, I know that" Dean said "it just seems to always be messing with us." The Sam more than most went unsaid but was perfectly understood. He sighed, he was tired and starting to feel the stress, but he was determined Sam wouldn't be alone. No way in hell.

"Oh boy Dean's in mother hen mode, everybody back away slowly and don't get near him or the kid." Caleb remarked and Dean scowled.

"I'm not that bad, I'm just protective" Dean explained, turning to watch Sam sleep.

"You're overprotective" Caleb muttered "it's a wonder the kid can even go to the movies by himself." Dean rolled his eyes; he was obviously not an older brother so he wouldn't know what it was like having to look out for someone all the time.

Sam moaned softly his stomach beginning to hurt again; he rolled over on his side and opened his eyes. Caleb was still sitting there bickering with Dean.

"Dean, are you ever not going to argue with Caleb?" he asked weakly still feeling he was going to lose his stomach.

"That didn't last long" Dean said looking at Sam. "Still feeling sick I take it?" Sam nodded. As he slowly drew his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He wished this nightmare was over already but instead it was just beginning.

Dean felt his heart ache as he watched his little brother curl into a ball and lay there on the bed. If he could he would have traded places with Sam. He swallowed back tears; Sam needed him to be strong for him right now. He reached out and gently squeezed Sam's shoulder.

"You're one more treatment closer to being finished" Dean said reached out as a tear drifted down Sam's face, he brushed it away.

"I don't think I can do this, it's a lot harder to get through this than I thought" Sam cried softly breaking his older brother's heart with just the few words he had spoken.

"If you don't you know what will happen" Dean said "Dad and I, we can't afford to lose you, not now." He wished he knew the words that would ease his pain. He hated seeing Sam so depressed without being able to help.

Sam sighed feeling his stomach turn, he groaned again, hating the feeling that he was about to hurl. He wished he wasn't so weak, if it was anyone else they would be able to get through this without being sick all the time.

"You're not weak because you're sick" John said from the corner where he had been standing and chatting with Jim and Bobby. He hated knowing his baby thought they would think less of him for being sick while on chemo.

"Being sick is normal while you're doing chemo, it's nothing to be ashamed of."

They talked for a little while longer and Sam once again drifted off to sleep. Dean was relieved he couldn't stand the pain he could see in Sam's eyes. Right now he wanted to punch fate in the face; no kid should have to suffer through this, no adult either.

"How long is he going to be on chemo?" Caleb asked curious and wondering how long Sam would be sick.

"He'll be doing three weeks on one week off for the next however long it takes to get him into remission, that can take months" Dean said feeling depressed for Sam at the thought. He didn't know how he would take months of having to watch Sam suffer. Dean sighed and ran a hand through his hair, visiting hours were almost over but he didn't want his little brother to be alone.

"Man, that sucks" Caleb said wishing the youngest Winchester didn't have to go through this. He was going to hate having to leave the Winchesters to hunt. He wanted to be there for support for the kid that was like a little brother to him. he was like Dean, he hating seeing the kid so miserable. Glancing at his watch he stood, five minutes till visiting hours were over.

"Think he'll sleep all night?" he asked Dean as they walked out of the room. Dean turned and looked at his sleeping brother.

"I hope so" and he did he didn't want Sam to wake up and be alone, and be afraid because of his situation. Dean hated leaving Sam behind, it was a problem he was going to find a quick solution too, and there wouldn't be anything the nurses or doctors could do about it.

"You can't do anything right now" Caleb said watching Dean watch his brother. "He'll he alright until morning, by which I am sure you'll be here before visiting hours start."

"Damn right" Dean said turning and walking down the hallway, behind Jim, Bobby and his father. Sam would be alright, Dean would make sure of it.

Hope you enjoy this chapter it took me forever to write. Thanks for reading and reviewing, have a great week Liz.


	10. Chapter 10

He's my son

Chapter ten

Sam was lying on the hospital bed, he had been fighting against leukemia for a while now, and the effects of chemo hadn't changed, they still made him sick as a dog, and they had yet to work towards remission. Lately Sam had been tired all the time and he knew what that meant, the chemo wasn't doing its job no matter what combination the doctors tried nothing was working. Sam knew he was dying no matter what Dean and his father said. It would only be a matter of time now, a tear drifted down his face. He didn't want to die; he wanted to live even if it meant all he got out of life was fighting monsters.

He had just fallen asleep when he felt a strange dark, presence standing beside him. He knew without looking that a reaper was standing beside him.

"I don't want to go with you" Sam declared terror filling his heart. He knew there wasn't going to be anyway he could avoid not going with him. But he had to at least try.

"You know what will happen if you stay here" Death said "Do you really want to force your family to have put you down again." Tears filled Sam's he couldn't stand the thought of his family suffering because of his death, because he wasn't strong enough to defeat cancer. Sam was scared he didn't want to die alone but apparently he wasn't going to get his wish.

"Just think you won't be sick anymore" Death said trying to make dying into a good thing.

"Being sick is worth it if I get to be around my family" Sam said but he knew what he was going to do, he had no choice really. He couldn't let his family bury him twice. As if sensing Sam's thoughts Death reached out and placed his hand on Sam's chest. Sam's eyes closed slowly and his heart beat came to a slow stop. Now there was only two Winchesters walking the planet. The sad news was they didn't even know it yet.

Crying out Sam shot up in his bed, his chest heaving with each breath he took. That dream had been so lifelike; he could almost feel the reapers touch on his skin. He swallowed hard, he felt like getting sick again, that dream had been all too real.

Five minutes later the door to his room opened and in walked a blonde nurse Sam had never seen before. He looked at her and vaguely had the feeling that he knew her from somewhere he just couldn't place it.

She smiled at him and walked over to the bed.

"Did you have a bad dream?" she asked placing her hand on his back and rubbing slow circles in between his shoulder blades. Sam nodded and had to swallow back tears. He had left Dean and his father to suffer through his death. That was not a choice he would ever make not if he had a choice in the matter.

"I died" Sam said "I left my family alone." The nurse smiled and continued rubbing his back.

"We're not going to let that happen" she said softly "We have some of the best doctors in the world working here; we will find something that works for you."

"I don't want to leave them" Sam said biting back more tears he'd already felt like he'd cried enough for one lifetime.

"I know" the nurse said comfortingly "Believe me when I say it's not going to come down to that." Sam wished he could be that confidant but when it came to cancer you never knew how it was going to turn out. She smiled when she saw the doubting expression on Sam's face.

"You know I have a son about your age, his name is Sam too, also like you he worries far too much than a kid his age should. He's as stubborn as a mule but he's the kindest hearted kid, I'm proud to call him my son." She smiled. "He'll do anything for anyone, they don't have to ask, and he always puts his whole heart into anything he does."

"Sounds like a good kid" Sam murmured starting to feel sleepy again but he was still scared to close his eyes. He still could still see the pale face of death leaning over him and touching his chest. He shivered unconsciously the terror had felt so real.

"Sam, you don't have to be afraid, I'm with you" the nurse said gently.

"I want Dean" Sam said "whenever I need him, he's here."

"I'll call Dean" she said softly "but understand that you my child, still have much to do, death won't come for you yet." She pressed a gentle kiss to Sam's forehead and turned and walked out of the room.

Just who on earth was she? Sam knew that he knew her from somewhere he just couldn't remember where. That bugged him, he was too tired to figure out mysteries right now, he wanted answers and he wanted Dean. Dean would make the dream go away. Lying back on the bed, Sam stared up at the ceiling, the terror he'd felt slowly draining from him.

Twenty minutes later a PJ clad, sleepy looking Dean strolled into Sam's room. He hadn't cared that visiting hours were nowhere near to starting, his little brother needed him and by god that's where he would be. Sure enough, Sam was still awake and just lying on the bed, looking as miserable as a kid fighting cancer could look. Dean's heart ached for what his brother was going through. If he had known a spell that could let them exchange places Dean would do it in a heartbeat.

"Sammy, I hear you're having trouble" Dean said softly approaching the bed. Sam threw himself at Dean as soon as Dean was close enough to the bed. Dean staggered back, but kept a tight grip on Sam.

"It's okay kiddo, you're not alone anymore, I promise I'll always be here when you need me."

"I know" Sam said softly clinging tightly to his older brother, Dean always knew what to do when he was scared.

"How about lying back down" Dean said gently as Sam relaxed back onto the bed, Dean climbed on the bed beside him and held him as Sam slowly drifted off to sleep.

"I'll keep the nightmares away" Dean said softly watching his brother breath evenly as he slept. Unknown to them the blonde nurse was watching from the shadows.

"Take good care of your brother Dean," she murmured smiling and turning and disappearing.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Hope you enjoy this chapter. Have a great week. Liz


	11. Chapter 11

He's my son

Chapter 11

John Winchester woke to an empty room, he glanced over the other bed that occupied the room was empty. John knew without a doubt exactly where Dean had taken off to. He shook his head at how predictable his eldest boy was when it came to dealing with Sam. Although considering the situation John couldn't blame Dean for wanting to spend so much time with Sam.

Speaking of which, John wished he knew what he could do to help Sam, even if it was just the words to say to comfort his boy while he went through chemo. It had only been one day since Sam had started and seeing how hard the effects hit Sam afterwards, hurt John more than he was willing to admit. No parent wanted to see their child suffer, John most of all. He might not always get alone with Sam but that didn't mean he wished to see him hurting. Sitting up, his threw his legs over the side of the bed, he glanced at the clock at the bedside table. It was eight thirty which meant visiting hours started at nine and Sam's chemo started at ten thirty. He had a little bit of time to get a shower and grab a decent breakfast, which apparently he would have to do without Dean.

Getting up he wondered into the bathroom for his shower, and just as he was coming out somebody was pounding on his door. He knew automatically it wasn't going to be Dean because once Dean was at his little brother's side, he wasn't leaving, it would take a tornado to move Dean and even then it wouldn't be very far.

Sure enough it was Caleb, posing to knock again as John opened the door.

"Dean up already?" he asked.

"Dean's with Sam already" John said moving back so the younger man could enter the room.

"Why doesn't that surprise me" Caleb muttered rolling his eyes, "He's going to be lucky if they don't stop his visiting rights for that one."

"I doubt any hospital would be that cruel" John remarked as started the coffee maker.

Caleb sat down in the chair by the window and watched his older friend wonder around the room.

"I want to know how Dean knew to go to Sam last night, kind of strange that he just took off without telling anybody where he was actually going"

"I don't think so, if you'd seen those two together there is nothing strange about their bond whatsoever, and that's the way I've always wanted it to be. Because I know Dean will take care of Sam if I'm not around." John replied pouring himself and Caleb a cup of coffee. "Besides it doesn't surprise me that Dean knew something was going on with Sam. I would be more surprised if he didn't know."

Twenty minutes later Caleb and John left their hotel room and met up with Bobby and Jim and drove to the hospital. Like John had suspected Dean was indeed in Sam's room. They were both sitting up and talking when the door opened and Dean turned and looked up to see who had entered.

"Don't think I didn't notice your disappearing trick" John commented as he approached the bed.

"I got a call about Sam" Dean said shrugging before asking "have you ever seen a blonde nurse in here?"

"Not that I can recall" John replied after thinking for a moment. "Most of them have been dark haired but no blondes. I would think you would have remembered that"

"Probably would have" Dean admitted sounding troubled. "I talked to Jackie this morning they don't even have a nurse resembling the one Sam told me about."

John frowned he wasn't liking the sound of this. It would figure that something supernatural would be haunting his son while he was dealing with cancer.

"Maybe it was a nurse that used to work here" John suggested his mind already determined to solve this issue, he didn't want any kind of ghost around Sam. Because of course there was no telling if it was a reaper or not, he certainly didn't want one of those around his boy. Sam would survive one way or the other.

Bobby looked at Jim and frowned if there was indeed a ghost haunting this place, it couldn't be for any good reason.

"I'll go back to the hotel and look into it" Bobby said "whoever it is won't haunt this place long."

Sam frowned he didn't like the thought of being haunted.

"Even if that nurse is a ghost she didn't seem so vengeful to me" Sam commented.

"You know how it goes Sam, ghosts always turn vengeful eventually, and I'm not giving this one a chance to hurt you." Sam didn't like the sound of that; he didn't want this one to be sent away. There was something innately good about this one; Sam couldn't explain it in a way to make them understand whoever she was wasn't here to cause him harm.

A few minutes later Jackie his day nurse walked through the door. Sam groaned as soon as he saw her, making the others in the room chuckle. They couldn't blame him of course; from what they had witnessed chemo was horrible enough to go through.

"I see you know what time it is" she said as she approached with the IV bags in hand. Sam swallowed hard; he had been dreading this all night. But he would go through it for his family.

"Of course, time to prepare myself to be sick for the rest of the day" Sam muttered watching as Jackie tied a tourniquet around his upper right arm.

"Can you make a fist for me?" she asked and Sam silently did as she asked. He wondered if they would be doing this all the time or if they could find a better way than sticking full of holes all the time.

Jackie pressed gently on the center of his arm looking for a vein, once she found it, as gently as she could she slid a butterfly needle into it. taping the needle down she hung the bag full of life saving medicine up on the silver pole that was attached to the bed.

"You're all set" She said as cheerfully as she could. She hated seeing kids as young as Sam, sometimes even younger than that, have to go through such rough treatment. She could be as gentle as possible but that still wouldn't change the effect the chemicals had on the body.

"See you when the bag is empty" she said softly smiling as she turned and walked out the door, struggling to hide her tears. The job was really starting to get to her lately.

Sam sighed and leaned back against his pillows. Day two had just begun. He stared up at the ceiling, wondering just how his father had come to the conclusion that the night nurse was a ghost. He understood it couldn't have been a demon because there was a devils trap on the ceiling.

"I can hear you thinking from over here" Dean said watching his little brother, the medicine slowly dripping into Sam's bloodstream. "You shouldn't think so much you could damage your brain."

"I think it's likely you damage your brain from NOT thinking enough" Sam countered turning his head to grin at Dean. John rolled his eyes but he was glad Sam was in a good mood maybe that would last throughout the chemo session.

"Hey I wouldn't want to be a geek to save my life," Dean said "They never get the girls." Sam rolled his eyes. He loved his brother but he could really try a person's patience.

While Dean and Sam bickered back and forth John snuck out the door, with the other guys. They all felt Dean had that situation well under control. They had to worry about the supernatural being wondering around in Sam's room. John looked back at Sam laughing at something Dean had said. The sight was good for his heart. He knew by the time this was over Sam probably wouldn't be laughing so much, but if this is what it took for Sam to live so be it. John wasn't willing to let his youngest die so young, and not from something like this.

"I'll be back Sammy, I promise" he murmured as he turned and followed Caleb back down the hall. And a few hours later he did return with not one iota of a clue of what was haunting his son or why. It made him very frustrated, and by the time he was arriving back at Sam's room, none of the other hunters would even approach him.

He walked into Sam's room just in time to see Sam leaning over the bed hurling with all his might.

"I can see chemo is done for the day" John commented feeling bad for his son.

"Yeah" Dean said rubbing Sam's back gently "he's been like this for a little while now. Can't even keep water down." Sam had finished hurling and had lain back down on the bed, seeing his father and still feeling pretty rough. Sam reached out for his father, for once needing the comfort only a father could give. John sent a startled look in Dean's direction, who only smirked. Sam had never once wanted him when Dean was around. Still, knowing his youngest needed him propelled him forward and approached the bed.

Sitting down on it, he scooped Sam up into his arms and held him close. Sam rested his head on his father's chest. John resisted sighing; it had been a long time since he'd felt needed. He reached up and brushed Sam's hair away from his face, as he did, his fingers brushed Sam's forehead. Frowning John looked down at Sam.

"Is he supposed to be feeling warm?" he hoped Sam wasn't getting sick; a cold at this point could kill him because the drugs were affecting Sam's immune system.

"I don't think so" Dean said watching his little brother cling to their dad. Something had to be going on because Sam was never that clingy to anyone unless it was Dean. He reached over and hit the call button for the nurse. He wasn't going to risk Sam's life because they didn't know if it was normal for Sam to be running a fever or not.

Five minutes later black headed nurse named Rachel, who Dean immediately didn't like. She scowled at the sight of John holding Sam.

"A little old to be getting held is he not?" she commented leaned over and touching Sam's forehead.

"He's been throwing up a lot has he not?" she asked not bothering to even look at his chart.

"Yes" Dean admitted though he was ready to commit murder. This person wasn't fit to be a nurse, cause she didn't seem to care about any of the patients.

"He's probably running a fever from having thrown up so much." Rachel said. John scowled, and the look on his face would have sent the other hunters running had it been directed at them. Rachel having finished checking Sam's temperature turned and walked out the door.

"That little bitch" John said startling the occupants in the room.

"I would be running by now" Caleb said as John gently placed Sam back on the bed and headed out of the room. "She crossed the wrong grizzly bear." Dean couldn't blame John for being mad, he was too at the careless way she'd treated Sam, he was fourteen for crying out loud and going through chemo, if he'd needed a little comfort no one could blame him for that.

"Know any lawyers?" Jim asked Bobby "I have feeling if he catches her; he's going to be looking at murder."

"Not that she doesn't deserve it." Dean muttered taking his dad's place on the bed. He didn't like how pale and sweaty the kid was. Something had to be wrong; he hadn't looked like this after chemo yesterday. He prayed it wasn't an infection, something like that could easily kill the kid.

"You're going to be okay kiddo" Dean said brushing away the sweaty hair. His heart ached just looking at him; things couldn't end like this right now.

"Dean?" Sam asked weakly reaching for Dean's hand, and whimpering when he couldn't find it. Dean his heart breaking at the sound coming from his brother's lips reached out and took Sam's hand in his.

"I'm here, Sam, I'm not leaving." Dean looked at Caleb telling him without saying the words to go find nurse someone preferably not Rachel Morris. Caleb nodded and got up and left. Bobby went into the restroom and wet down a rag and brought to Dean.

Dean nodded his thanks and then proceeded to gently wipe down Sam's face. "Where's mom?" Sam moaned surprised Dean because Sam had never really known their mother.

"Now is not a good time for John to be committing murder" Jim commented worried about the youngest Winchester. He knew about the Winchester's history and how they had gotten their start in hunting.

Not even five minutes later Jackie Rose entered the door, she took one look at Sam then stuck her head out the door and hollered for a few more nurses to help and to bring a gurney with them.

That being done she went to Sam's bedside and checked him temperature, she winced at the numbers. This was not good at all.

"Just how high is his fever?" Dean asked bracing himself for the worst.

"104.3" Jackie replied grimly as the two other nurses arrived with the gurney. They helped transfer Sam to that gurney while Dean and the other hunters stood by watching.

"Dean" Sam moaned as they pushed him out of the room, "Don't leave me please, don't leave me." Dean felt tears fall down his face at his little brother's plea, and he turned and punched the wall as hard as he could. He couldn't stand the terror he'd heard in Sam's voice, and he wished he could have gone with Sam but that wasn't possible. They were likely moving him into ICU until whatever it was that was making Sam sick cleared up. Dean had never felt more helpless in his life than he did now. There was nothing he could do for Sam, he couldn't even be with him while he fought this sickness. He was in the process of punching the wall again when a highly agitated John walked back through the door.

"Where's Sam?" he asked gruffly, looking around the room. He spied an obviously anguished Dean breathing hard with bloody knuckles.

"To the best of our knowledge he's being taken to ICU" Bobby replied, hating to see how much Dean was hurting.

"So something was wrong?" John asked feeling like walking right back out the door and tearing into that nurse some more. If something happened to Sam, she wouldn't see the light of day again. He would make sure of that.

"Yeah, he's pretty sick" Jim said moving over to where Dean stood. He placed his hand on Dean's shoulder and squeezed.

"You're brother's a fighter he's going to be okay." Dean nodded but didn't say anything. He didn't quite believe him.

"I guess we should go find the ICU waiting room cause I'm not leaving this hospital without knowing what's going on" John grumbled his heart eaten with worry about his youngest son's condition. He couldn't that stupid nurse thought he would swallow that it's from throwing up so much. He guessed there would be some people who accepted that, he didn't not when he could feel for himself how high his temperature was. Dean followed him out the door, worried about Sam and still pissed at the nurse who had claimed there was nothing wrong. they walked to the nurses' station which had only been a few doors down from Sam's room.

"Where's the ICU waiting room?" John asked the tone in his voice encouraged them to answer right away.

"All the way down the end of the hall make a right" the nurse said breathing a sigh of relief as soon as John had walked off. Dean looked at her and chuckled. His father seemed to inspire fear wherever he went.

"He's really not that bad" Dean said walking off to join John.

"That nurse was quaking in her shoes" Dean commented as they approached the waiting room.

"Good" John said "if that's what it takes to get them to do their jobs right so be it." he found an empty chair and sat down in it heavily. He was tired and stressed, and worry was still eating at him.

"Doesn't mean you need to scare all the good nurses just cause that one was a bitch" Dean said, as he remained standing and paced the floor in front of his father and their friends.

An hour later Nurse Jackie came to find the anxiously waiting family.

"How is he?" Dean demanded not caring about how he harshly he'd asked.

"Very sick" Jackie replied "it's an infection; we're not sure where he picked it up, because we're pretty clean about everything we use around the kids who have cancer."

"Well you screwed something up" John growled ignoring the flinch and the fact that'd she'd been the one who had taken the best care of Sam. One nurse had screwed up so he was going to take a bite of them all until they got their acts together.

"Trust me we're doing all we can to help Sam improve. He's on a wide range of antibiotics; we hope he will start responding to them shortly."

"I guess we won't be seeing him tonight will we?" Dean although he knew the answer; Sam was far too sick for any visitors.

"Sorry," Jackie said quietly "Not tonight, not until he starts responding to the medicine he's been giving." Dean sighed that sounded like their luck. Sam needed him and he couldn't go to him. He nodded, he was pretty tired anyways it had been one hell of a long day, the chemo had started at ten thirty, and he started getting sick shortly after chemo had ended. Then he'd developed the fever that was causing all this chaos. And they had waited what seemed like ages only to be told they wouldn't be seeing him tonight and probably not for the next several days unless things started looking up.

"Fine" John grumbled climbing to his tired feet "but expect to see us bright and early tomorrow." He walked out of the waiting room followed by Dean and the other hunters that had been waiting for them.

Upon leaving the hospital they found a small diner and stopped to eat.

"I wouldn't have thought the day would end like this" Dean said "Sam was just fine this morning," he frowned thinking about what Sam had asked while in the middle of fevered frenzy. Then something clicked.

"This is going to sound crazy, but what if it's mom haunting Sam?"

John felt his heart drop down into his stomach. He hadn't even thought that was a possibility. Could it be true? Somehow he was afraid to hope so.

"How?" John asked "We're so far from Lawrence; I don't know how that would be possible."

"Neither do I" Dean said "but Sam mentioned she was blonde and she looked familiar."

John frowned he wished it was possible that it could have been Mary. How he longed to see his wife again, she was the reason they were even hunters to begin with.

"I don't think it's her," John said "it's just not possible." Dean shrugged. He thought it was her even if it did sound pretty farfetched.

Twenty minutes later they were back at their hotel. Dean was getting ready for bed, when John came out of the restroom and claimed his own bed.

"You can't sneak out tonight, Sam's too sick" John said, smirking at the thought of his eldest trying to sneak into ICU.

"Don't remind me" Dean replied grumpily, he wanted to be near Sam to make sure nothing went wrong. He wanted to be there to talk the kid away from the edge if that should happen.

Later that night at the hospital, Sam lay unconscious, his fever still high, a dark presence had slipped into the unbeknownst to the nurses that were working hard trying to get the fever to go down. The being started reaching out to touch Sam's chest, his intention to take his life. Instead a blonde nurse walked through the door and stood in front of him blocking him from getting the boy's soul.

"You will not take my son" Mary said looking him straight in the eye. "His time is not up; I won't have him taken early. Or do you need me to report to your boss that your taking souls before their time?" the reaper glared at her and disappeared. The angel had won for now. Mary turned back towards the unconscious Sam; she bent down and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.

"I promise I'll always be here to protect you, you have no reason to fear, so continue being the brave young man you are, I couldn't be more proud." To the night nurses astonishment from that moment on his fever started to drop.

**So that's longer than I normally write a chapter but I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. thanks for reading and reviewing. Have a great week Liz.**


	12. Chapter 12

He's my son

Chapter 12

Once back at the motel, John had grabbed a shower and had gone straight to bed. Dean however didn't feel like sleeping instead he was pacing the floors. He was worried about Sam, and longed to be right there beside him. But John had been right; Dean couldn't sneak off and compromise his little brother's health further. He wondered how it was that Sam had gotten so sick so quickly. It couldn't be normal, not that Dean would know what normal was when it came to dealing with cancer. This whole situation was unfair, and stressful to Dean and John. Dean couldn't imagine how Sam was truly feeling about it. The kid had put on a brave front, but Dean knew he wasn't showing how he truly felt. Somehow he had to help Sam let it out. He couldn't keep it in the way he had been.

"Get some sleep Dean" A gruff voice called from under the covers on the bed closest to the door.

"I can't" Dean said frustrated "I'm too worried about Sam."

"Sam will be alright; this is just a roadblock on his way to recovery."

"Damn big roadblock" Dean muttered but continued to pace anyways. John sighed Dean wouldn't listen to him while Sam was so bad off. He wondered if he could call the hospital and have the night nurse talk to Dean. Maybe then he could get a little sleep. He should have figured Dean would turn into a giant mother hen when John had Dean start taking care of him. Maybe that had been another mistake on his part. God, had he royally screwed his boys up by making them depend so much on the other.

_Maybe it's your fault your youngest has cancer; you force him to live a life he hates, so just maybe you caused his cancer because you don't want him anymore. _ A voice said in his head and John scowled there was no physical way possible for the cancer to be his fault. He knew that but he still felt guilty that his youngest had to deal with it at all.

"Why can't there be some kind of physical force behind this" Dean commented "that way we could kill it or whatever and this mess would be over."

"I've heard of demons causing natural disasters" John commented "it's not too far off base to assume there is a demon that causes diseases too." If that truly was the case here how the hell would they find the damn demon causing Sam to be sick?

"It's never that easy" Dean reminded him "our issues always manage to make things complicated."

"Still no reason we can't look into a cancer causing demon" John said. "I would love to put an end to Sam's suffering without losing him." Dean looked over at his father. What he'd said about the demon made sense and if that was the cause behind this, you had better believe Dean would be the first in line to kick the demon's ass.

"I guess we can ask Bobby" Dean said heading for the door ignoring the fact that it was three in the morning and that the older man might actually be in bed sleeping.

"You're not waking him up" John called to Dean "we can find out the answers to that question in the morning."

"Sam can't wait that long" Dean replied and proceeded out the door. He'd wake up Santa Claus if it would get him some answers to help his little brother.

John sighed and stumbled out of bed, intending to go after Dean. He could understand how Dean would want to know how put this to an end, he hated seeing Sam suffer just as much as Dean did, however waking Bobby after the long day they'd had was not the answer. John left the room closing the door firmly behind him, and walked around the corner to the other hunter's room.

Bobby was just letting Dean into the room when John approached.

"I do believe it's a Winchester party" Bobby grumbled allowing John in the room. Dean didn't waste time getting to the point.

"Is it possible for a demon to be causing Sam's sickness?" Bobby frowned and thought for a moment.

"Sure it is, I've heard of cases like that." He replied.

"How do we find the damn thing and put an end to it" Dean said his voice low and cold. He was determined to be rid of the thing before the week was over.

"Not sure all I know is they are extremely powerful so what works on a normal demon won't work on a demon of disease" Bobby replied hating the look that came over Dean's face. He wished it could have been that easy to free Sam of his pain. But Winchester luck was holding out so far.

"And that's not to mention this might not be the demon causing it, could just be natural." Bobby said.

"How the hell is cancer natural" Dean said frustrated.

"Not every bad thing is caused by a demon you know, there are reasons for why things happen."

"I'm not losing Sammy to this disease" Dean said softly "I can't just sit there and watch him waste away, there's nothing natural about that." Bobby felt sorry for the boy, it looks like Dean had been holding on to the hope of the demon being the reason behind this.

"There is a way to find out if it's the demon or not" Bobby said catching both the Winchester's attention.

"He'll get worse start to get better than get worse again" Bobby said.

"Sounds like it's playing a damn game" John muttered.

"This is its way of having fun" Bobby agreed.

"Fun my ass" Dean muttered glaring at the floor; he hated the demon even more now. One way or the other if that was what was behind this it would die.

Sorry about the short update and the time it took to even update. RL has been a nightmare lately, I have gotten custody of my 8 month old nephew my four year old niece and my 8 year old nephew. The 8 month old cries all the time cause he misses his mother, they keep me pretty busy so it might be a while before I update again. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Liz


	13. Chapter 13

He's my son

Chapter 13

Meanwhile back at the hospital, Sam lay unconscious, his fever slowly coming down. Mary sat beside him, keeping guard over her youngest. She hated with a passion that he was suffering through this whole mess, if she found out whom or what was causing it. They would never see the light of day again.

As she watched her youngest child sleeping, she reached out and brushed his hair away from his forehead, frowning when a few strands came loose. She had hoped this wouldn't happen to him but apparently he wasn't going to be so lucky. If angels could cry she was sure she would have been sobbing by then. No child should have to suffer through something has horrible as cancer. She sighed and sat back in her chair and stared singing softly:

"_Little child be not afraid_

_Though rain pounds harshly against the glass_

_Like an unwanted stranger there is no danger_

_I am here tonight._

_Little child be not afraid_

_Though thunder explodes and lightening flash_

_Illuminates your tear stained face_

_I am here to night."_

"And I'm not going anywhere" Mary promised bending down pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek.

"You are going to pull through this, the road might get hard and things may look bleak there for a while, but stay strong and know that this is a monster only you can beat."

"_And someday you'll know_

_That nature is so_

_The same rain that draws you near me_

_Falls on rivers and land_

_On forest and sand_

_Makes the beautiful world that you'll see in the morning_

_Little child be not afraid_

_Though storm clouds mask your beloved moon_

_And its candlelight beams still keep pleasant dreams_

_I am here tonight." _

Mary sighed she wished she could stay all night with her son and get him over the worst of the infection, but alas she was only allowed to spend a certain amount of time with him. Even Angels had their rules they had to follow.

"I'll be back soon baby, you just rest up and get better." That being said Mary disappeared.

A few hours later Sam regained consciousness is a blind panic. He was alone, and still wasn't feeling all that well. Not to mention he'd just had a nightmare about his father making a deal with demon just so that Sam would get better. The worst part was the demon didn't keep his word, Sam kept getting sicker and sicker and still John died, giving his life for nothing because his youngest son was still dealing with the monster called cancer. The dream had frightened Sam; he didn't want his father to die for something that wasn't going to work. While he worried about what the dream could possibly mean he remembered a sweet kind voice telling him to stay strong that he could beat this cancer.

_Whoever you are _Sam thought _I hope you're right about me being strong enough to deal with this. It hasn't been that long and I'm already miserable. _

Sam was afraid to go back to sleep he didn't want to dream anymore about how his family was dealing with his illness. He was scared that his dad really would attempt to make a deal. He would have to find a way to make sure John didn't do just that he just wasn't sure how yet. Sam lay awake shivering under his covers, scared and lonely and wishing Dean was with him. Dean would know what to say to keep John right here by his side.

Sighing Sam turned his head and looked out the glass window of the cubical he was in, to his surprise Dean was standing right at the window watching him with a worried frown on his face. A dark haired nurse was standing beside him. Sam frowned there was something about that particular nurse that Sam didn't like, Sam normally liked everyone, except for this one.

After a few minutes the nurse turned and walked away and Sam raised his hand and placed it on the glass. Dean followed suit as if that would get him closer to his little brother. He couldn't stand the thought of a demon causing his brother's illness, but it shouldn't have surprised him Sam suffered more than any other person he knew. When he had arrived at the ICU having left straight from the hotel, determined he wouldn't spend the night away from Sam, not when he sensed that the kid needed him. He was relieved to see his brother had regained consciousness, and it looked like his fever had come down. Dean hoped that it stayed down and they could get Sam back on chemo as soon as possible. They longer he was off the more likely the cancer was going to get a stronger hold on his immune system. Dean refused to let his brother die, wasn't going to happen. If Dean had to bind a reaper he would. Sam was far more important than anybody else.

"He is improving slowly, he should be out of ICU in a few days" Rachel the dark haired nurse from earlier said as she approached the tall young man standing outside the ICU cubical.

"Not that you care too much" Dean remarked keeping his eyes on his little brother, if Sam so much as Sneezed Dean would be in his room faster than someone saying bless you.

"Once you work here for a while, all the patients are the same" she shrugged making Dean dislike her even more.

"I bet with the way you care about the kids around here they all love you" Dean said finally turning and glaring at her.

"Don't need them too" she replied not a bit put off by the taller man's tone.

"Let me make myself clear" Dean said his tone angry and daring her to go against his wishes. "Stay the hell away from Sam, the other nurses can help with him, but you stay away."

"Sure whatever you say Rocky" she said shrugging and turning and walking off. Dean glared at her back. He had never disliked any more than her. Anyone who didn't care about what their patients were going through, and weren't affected by struggle, should never be in the medical profession. Dean turned his attention back to Sam; he could see silent laughter in his brother's eyes. To him that was the best thing in the world. To see someone so sick but with so much joy in his eyes there wasn't a better feeling that that.

Sam raised his hand to the window again, and Dean did the same. He could almost feel the warmth in his brother's palm through the window.

"I love you little man" Dean mouthed knowing Sam couldn't hear him through the window. Sam smiled; he had always known it even if Dean had never said it.

Sam sighed he was starting to feel sleepy again, but he was afraid if he closed his eyes Dean would disappear and he would be left alone again. He wished Dean could stay in the room with him, but he knew it couldn't happen, not while he was still sick anyways. He hoped he would get over it soon and would be able to be with his family again.

Dean smiled watching Sam fight sleep, he backed away and went to the nurses' station and asked for a piece of paper. He wrote a quick note and returned to Sam's window. He held the note up to the window so that Sam could read it.

"I'm not going anywhere jerk so get some sleep." Dean chuckled at the mouthed words coming from Sam's mouth. Dean watched Sam drift off to sleep and then he walked towards the waiting room and sat down. He wasn't going back to the hotel room to discuss Sam's odds of making it if it was indeed a demon causing his cancer. Sighing he settled back into the hard plastic chair and closed his eyes. He would wait here for as long as it took Sam to get well.

Thanks for reading and sorry it took so long to update, the kiddos have kept me pretty busy. And the lyrics to the song used earlier is to the song lullaby for a stormy night by Vienna teng, it's a very pretty song. Anyways thanks for reading and reviewing. Hopefully the next chapter won't take so long. Liz


	14. Chapter 14

He's my son

Chapter 14

Two days later Sam was released from ICU, his fever was now completely gone, it had disappeared slowly as Mary had sat by his side each night for a few hours. Of course Sam had been unconscious at the time and had no idea his dead mother was sitting with him. Now he was well enough to begin chemo once again, Sam was dreading it but he would continue to muddle through it anyway he could. He wouldn't let his family suffer if he didn't go through with it. He hated cancer with a passion, he wished there had never been such thing, no one should have to go through it.

He had been waiting a few minutes for a nurse to come transfer him back into his old room, when the door opened and a sleepy, barely looking alive, Dean stumbled through the door. Sam raised his brow at his brother's shaggy appearance. He hadn't seen Dean looking this rough in quite some time.

"You look like hell" Sam commented though he was happy to have his older brother's company.

"That little brother is the benefit of sleeping in the ICU waiting room all night, you would look as good as I do if you had tried it." Dean said going over to stand by the wall closest to Sam's bed.

"You can't keep spending the night here" Sam said hating the shadows under his beloved brother's eyes.

"I'd like to see you stop me" Dean said "I'm not staying away from my pain in the ass little brother while he's in the hospital."

"I appreciate it" Sam said softly "But I don't want you to wear yourself out on my account, I'm not worth it being exhausted over." Dean hated the helpless look in his brother's eyes just much as he hated the fact that Sam felt he wasn't good enough for the family_. His confidence is something we're going to have to work on_ Dean thought.

"That's where you are wrong brother dearest. You are worth it otherwise I would have told Dad to put you back under the cabbage leaf you came from." Dean said chuckling at the expression of Sam's face, he reached out and gently squeezed Sam's hand to let him know he was serious about Sam being worth it.

"I didn't come from cabbage" Sam muttered swiping at Dean who only smiled and moved out of his reach.

"As far as I'm concerned you did" Dean said chuckling as Sam tried to hit him again. "It explains why you're such a sissy" Sam glared at Dean and sat up preparing himself to get out of bed and go after his brother.

"Nice to see him in fighting shape" a gruff voice said from the doorway causing the boys to stop their scuffling and turn towards the door.

"Hey Dad" Sam said quietly and settled back into the bed, John was hear now, he had missed him just as much as he'd missed Dean he just wasn't sure how to express it. John entered the room and went and stood by Dean.

"I'm glad you're doing better kiddo for a short while it got rough" John said reaching and rubbing Sam's hair. John pretended not to notice the small strands that fell off in his hand. He hadn't wanted this to happen to Sam he knew Sam had always loved having his long hair, it was his own way of rebelling against him.

Sam shook his father's hand off his head and with came more strands of hair. Sam seen the hair fall and froze, one of his worst nightmares about this whole thing was coming true, he was going to lose his hair.

Dean seeing the broken expression on Sam's face felt a tug in his heart and quickly reached out and tugged his brother into a hug. He hated chick flick moments with a passion but the way Sam was looking, well, Dean couldn't take it, he needed to be able to help Sam in some small way.

"It's just hair it will grow back" Dean said softly holding tightly onto Sam.

"It's not your hair so it's easy for you to say that" Sam said as the tears started falling. He was starting to realize the enormity of just what he had to face. And it terrified him, after all not everybody beat cancer, a lot of kids died each year from it.

"I don't want to do this" Sam whimpered against Dean. "I can't I'm scared."

"You can do anything you put your mind to" John said softly placing his hand on Sam's back and rubbing gently. He hated seeing Sam like this; it was breaking his heart to see Sam so scared and helpless in Dean's arms. That in turn made John feel helpless since he knew that there nothing physical he could do to help him expect be there.

"Dad's right, Sam" Dean said quietly "This isn't too big or too hard for you to handle; besides you have me and Dad with Bobby and Pastor Jim and Caleb here. We won't let you be alone, even if I have to break some more rules to stay with you all night every night. I won't let you be alone and scared."

"What if I die?" Sam asked quietly "what's going to happen to you guys?'

"You're not going to die" Dean said determinedly as if he could chase this supernatural monster away from Sam and kill it with his own two hands. "I won't let you."

"Dean's right" John said softly hating the tears alone with fear in his baby's eyes. "We won't let you die, you mean the world to the both of us, we won't let go, so don't you let go."

Dean couldn't have appreciated his father more than he did in that moment. Sam had needed assurance from the both of them and John had more than exceeded Dean's expectations.

"You hear that" Dean said softly gently shaking Sam "Don't you dare give up, we will be right here rooting for you, so don't quite cause we will carry you through this nightmare."

Sam felt the power of Dean's words straight through to his heart, he could trust anything Dean and his father said. All he had to do was fight and they would be waiting for him at the finish line when this fight was over. He was glad to have the family he did in that moment, he was still scared of the fight ahead but he knew as long as he had John and Dean by his side he could see it through to the end and come out on the winning side.

Sam sighed and pulled away from Dean and sat back on his bed, he didn't doubt Dean meant what he said when he'd break all the rules to be with him. Sam would have done the same thing if it had been Dean in the same position he was in.

"Feeling better now bitch" Dean said laughing when his little brother glared up at him.

"Shut up jerk" Sam muttered. Though he didn't say it he did feel better about the situation.

**Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed this chapter. I was depressed when I wrote it so I'm sure it showed in the chapter itself, but I hope you enjoy it anyways. I love Dean in this chapter, can't get enough of big brother Dean. Anyways enough with that have a good night and thanks again for reading and reviewing. Liz**


	15. Chapter 15

He's my son

Chapter 15

A few hours later Sam was settled back into his old room, but to his surprise he now had a roommate. Her name was Fayelynn Daniels and she was only slightly younger than Sam, she stood about five feet one inches and she was completely bald bearing witness to the battle she bravely fought. What most got Sam's attention was her eyes, they were the bluest blue he ever seen and at the same time completely friendly.

"I'm Fayelynn" she said introducing herself as Sam got settled into his bed.

"Sam" Sam said quietly and just a tad shyly, he had yet to figure out how to talk to girls. Dean laughed at him until Sam turned and shot a glare his way.

"That's my older brother Dean" Sam said nodding towards Dean who had taken a seat beside Sam's bed. Dean smiled but said nothing. He was glad Sam would have a roommate that would alleviate some of his worries at least, and it didn't mean that Dean would be spending any less time here.

"Why are you here?" Sam asked curious because she didn't really look like she needed to be in the hospital. She didn't look sick enough.

"My cancer is back again" she replied "so we are going to try another treatment since my other one is not working anymore." Sam didn't need to be told what would happen if they didn't find another treatment. Sam couldn't imagine having to fight this battle more than once; he didn't think he would be able to do it. The fact that his new neighbor had to fight it yet again made him wonder if there was any hope for him going into remission.

"Hey" Fayelynn called seeing the glum look in Sam's eyes. "Just because it's working out this way for me doesn't mean that's what it's going to do for you. No matter what I am going to beat this if I can you can too"

"You have a very positive outlook" Dean commented having listened to her and Sam's small conversation.

"When you're dealing with cancer its best if you try to stay positive, but really I've never been anything but positive. If this is happening than it's happening for a reason. I've been dealing with it for a long time so staying positive is pretty easy for me. Although I do have my times when I feel depressed, I try not to let it get me down too much."

Sam already liked Fayelynn, she was obviously intelligent, not to mention brave for having gone through this more than once. She showed a maturity beyond her thirteen years and Sam wondered if it came from having dealt with the cancer for a long while.

"How long have you had cancer?" Sam asked.

"Three years I was diagnosed when I was only 10" she replied and laughed at the shocked expression on Sam's face. "Just because you're young it doesn't leave you exempt from dealing with cancer if that is the card you are dealt. And besides I have a pretty aggressive form of cancer which means it's harder to beat but not impossible."

"You don't have leukemia?" Fayelynn shook her head.

"Nope, it starts with an "R" and is pretty hard to pronounce." She replied sitting up and fluffing her pillows before lying back again.

"It wouldn't be Rhabdomyosarcoma would it?" Dean asked and she nodded looking at Dean surprised not many people knew about it. Sam was clearly just as surprised as Fayelynn had been and he stared at Dean in open mouth surprise.

"I've looked up different types of cancer when Sam was first diagnosed" Dean said defending himself.

"When have you had the time to do that, you're always here?" Sam demanded.

"You forget I haven't slept much since this nightmare began" Dean reminded Sam who scowled at Dean.

"You need to get your rest too you know" Sam muttered.

"Well I want to know about what you're facing so you don't have to suffer alone" Dean said "So you can shut up bitch."

"Jerk" Sam muttered softly but loud enough for Dean to hear.

"You have an interesting brother" Fayelynn commented when Dean stood and went out into the hall with Caleb.

"That's one way to describe him" Sam agreed, "I couldn't ask for a better brother even if he has the habit of calling me a girl."

"Totally understand, I have a little sister whom I adore, the sad part is she doesn't completely understand what's going on and what I stand to lose if this monster can't be beat. I can't stand the thought of them grieving for me."

"It's been on my mind more since I've been diagnosed with this disease" Sam said "I've had nightmares of them grieving and Dean he broke my most, in the worst nightmare, he ended his life. And Dad he turned to drinking and in my dream he was driving drunk and was involved in a wreck that killed him. I don't want to think of my family falling apart like that" Sam said as a tear drifted down his face in that moment he was glad Dean was out of the room and didn't know he had dreamed about that.

Fayelynn felt bad for Sam and climbed out of bed and went and sat on Sam's.

"If the worst should happen to us, we have to believe our families are going to be alright. It only hurts us more to think they'll kill themselves or get killed in an accident or whatnot. It doesn't help our case any, we just have to stay positive even when it's hard, the more positive we are the stronger we are, or that's what I've always been told. Along with being told that we won't get called home until it's our time so I guess you can find some comfort in that."  
Unknown to the two teens in the room, Dean was right outside the door and had heard every word Sam had spoken. It had broken his heart in two knowing his brother was scared of what would happen to them if he died. If only he'd known Sam had been having those dreams there wouldn't have been anyway for the nurses to separate Dean from Sam. Dean wondered why Sam had never told him about the dreams. He figured maybe Sam thought he would have made fun of him or something; Dean wouldn't dare not over something like that. It was in that moment that Dean realized just how grateful he was for having a roommate, whom Sam had automatically trusted which was strange because Sam didn't trust easily. Again it probably had to do with the fact they were both battling a monster with no end in sight. Dean waited a few more moments giving the two teens a few more minutes to talk before he walked back into the room and reclaimed his seat by Sam's bed.

"Dad's talking with the doc about your chemo" Dean said explaining their father's absence. The man had disappeared right after Sam had been settled in his room.

"At least he didn't leave" Sam muttered. Dean gave him a funny look.

"You think he would leave when you're sick?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know what to think" Sam replied "But I'm glad to have you both around."

"Brother, we wouldn't be anywhere else" Dean said giving Sam his goofy grin that he knew would make Sam laugh. It did and Dean was glad that Sam was in a good mood, considering he was going to be having chemo again in just a little while.

Ten minutes later Fayelynn's family walked in and went and sat beside her. Fayelynn made quiet introductions. Sam wasn't surprised to find out they were all as friendly as their elder daughter was. Fayelynn's dad reminded Sam of Shaggy from Scooby doo, tall and lean, with short brown hair. Her mother was short and red headed and skinny. The little sister looked almost identical to Fayelynn. Faith was eight years old with long strawberry blonde hair and to everybody's amusement developed an intense liking to Dean and was currently playfully pestering him. Dean took it in stride and played with her. Sam watched laughing at him.

John and Bobby walked in with Pastor Jim and Caleb and they were surprised to see Dean goofing off with the little girl.

"Have I missed something?" John wondered out loud watching the scene.

"Yeah, Faith is Dean's girlfriend" Sam said chuckling at the dark look Dean sent him. John laughed at that. The picture it made of Dean playing with the little girl made him miss his Mary even more, and he wondered of Dean or Sam for that matter would ever get to be father's themselves. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts he went and sat on the edge of Sam's bed.

"You doing okay?" He asked quietly, Sam nodded.

"Not too long from now, you will be starting chemo again" John said "I talked to your doctor and he seemed to think it best to start you on it again as soon as possible." Sam sighed but didn't anything he was ready for it to be over already.

"I want to go on and shave my head" Sam burst out of nowhere "If I'm going to lose my hair anyways it's going to be done my way."

"I can do it if you want me to" Shaggy said (Mark) said "I done it for Fayelynn I won't mind for doing it for you, I'll just have to get my razor from home."

"You wouldn't mind?" Sam asked quietly.

"Son, I don't mind at all, I'll do anything for those fighting this disease no matter what type."

"Thank you" John said gruffly though he wanted to refuse the man's offer to help. He had just met him and didn't know much about the other family other than the fact that Sam had made quick friends with the daughter. Just as John was about to say no, Dean elbowed him in his ribs and shook his head.

"Let him do they are a nice family" Dean said softly so that only John heard. He nodded his permission and then turned back to Sam who was sitting quietly.

"Nervous?" John asked as the door opened and Jackie walked through the door.

"Not so much" Sam said "I just don't like being sick."

"We don't like watching you get sick, but just remember it's necessary to you getting better and beating this disease" John said softly.

"Time for Chemo" Jackie said softly as she prepared the IV.

"If it helps me win this fight bring it on" Sam said determined not to let the cancer get the best of him.

"With that attitude you'll be alright" Jackie said smiling happy that Sam was so willing to fight. She had seen so many kids get tired of the fight and just give up, those battles never lasted long and usually ended with the child being laid to rest. It was a relief to know that the youngest Winchester wasn't going to take that path.

Five minutes later Sam was getting his chemo, he was sitting back and talking quietly to Fayelynn who was happy to distract Sam from what was going on. She wasn't set to start her own chemo until the next day.

Sam moaned as the medicine started hitting his bloodstream. It was strange to be able to feel it. But Sam could because it burned in his veins. He knew it wouldn't be too much longer before the sickness hit and he wouldn't be getting very much rest. And he was right it was barely five minutes after the IV had been removed that Sam had started heaving and had yet to be able to stop. Fayelynn had crawled out of her bed despite her parent's protests and went and grabbed Sam's free hand, Dean had the other, and John had Sam in his lap holding him against his chest.

"Remember Sam as much as its hurting now in the end you will be so much better off especially if this combination of drugs does put you into remission."

"Thank you Fayelynn" Sam said weakly as arched up and once more threw up into his bedpan. He closed his eyes; miserable it was hard to stay positive when you were feeling as crappy as he did.

"Just try to get some rest you will feel better in the morning" she said softly hating the suffering she saw in her new friends' eyes. She felt like crying, she had always been able to handle her own pain, but had never handled anybody else's that well.

**So what do you guys think about Fayelynn? Thanks for reading and reviewing I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Something else I wanted to say when I got custody of my then 8 month old nephew he couldn't sit up on his own or even crawl. I am proud to say he is now doing both (a little too well for my liking) I couldn't love those kids more even if I don't get a lot of writing done any more so thanks for being patient with me. Have a great week Liz.**


	16. Chapter 16

He's my son chapter 16

Sam drifted off to sleep slowly in John's arms, when he was completely asleep, John slid out from underneath him, laying him down gently and covering him up.

"He's going to have a hard time with chemo" Fayelynn commented as she crawled back into her own bed.

"He already does" Dean agreed though he wished it wasn't so. He hated seeing his brother suffering so much, it made him feel helpless and Dean Winchester did not do helpless in any way shape or form. It wasn't in his nature, which was to protect Sam at all cost not matter what the cost was to him.

Fayelynn sat quietly for a little while appearing to be lost in thought. She had sensed certain loneliness from Sam, even though he was surrounded by people that loved him. She wondered why that was, after he seemed like a nice kid who should have lots of friends. Unless he was shy and didn't make friends easy which couldn't have been because she felt like they were friends already, and they had been talking from his arrival in the room earlier. So he couldn't be too shy.

"Time to go run some tests" Jackie said as she entered the room again only this time she went to Fayelynn's side of the room.

"I guess we should try to find out how bad it is and see how treatable it is" she said "although I know I'm going to beat it. It just might take a little while." Her mother smiled. She couldn't love her brave little girl any more than she did now.

"Be back in a little while" Fayelynn said climbing out of her bed and sitting in the wheelchair that Jackie was pushing. Once Fayelynn was out of the room, Mark and his wife took Faith and went to get something to eat.

John was watching Sam sleep; for once his son looked like he was getting a peaceful rest. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen peace on his youngest son's face. Of course considering what John did for a living, it was only natural peace just didn't exist. Of course in light of what had been going on for the last few weeks John was determined he was going to do his best to change that. If Sam lost this fight, John didn't want him to go thinking about the hell that had been his childhood. And hell it must have been, since John had never really let Sam be the kid he was. That was all going to change; from now on his boys would know just how much they meant to him.

"Earth to John" A voice said and a hand waved in front of his eyes. John scowled as he finally looked up at Caleb.

"About time you woke your ass up" Caleb chuckled before asking if he wanted any coffee.

"No I do not, and do that again and see if I don't knock your ass out." Caleb laughed as he walked out the door.

"He's incorrigible" John muttered once Caleb was out of ear shot.

"Just like Dean" Jim commented moving out of the way of Dean's hands.

"Why don't you let Sam get some sleep while he can" Bobby pointed out from where he sat. "This last session was pretty rough on him and he's going to need his strength for the next one."

"The old buzzard has a point" Dean admitted ducking out of reach of Bobby's swatting hat. John rolled his eyes and turned back to Sam. the kid was still pale and what was left of his hair was matted in sweat. It didn't seem fair to him that someone so innocent should have to suffer so much.

"It rains on the just and unjust alike" Jim said as if sensing what John was thinking. "Nobody gets out of going through the storms but if you weather them, eventually you come out of them stronger than you were before."

That made sense to John even if he didn't always agree with Jim on certain matters. He turned to ask Jim something when Sam started talking.

"Don't leave me alone, Please I don't want to be alone….DAD!" Sam cried out the terror in his voice striking John right through the heart. He jumped to his feet and gently shook Sam awake.

"You're okay now kiddo" John said softly.

"Don't leave me alone okay?" Sam asked terrified that his father was going to leave him in the hospital and continue hunting.

"Never" John stated firmly "Not while you are in here, not while you have cancer" Sam nodded but the fear was still in his eyes. John frowned unsure of how to reassure Sam that he wasn't going anywhere.

"Scoot over" he told Sam who promptly done as he was asked. John lay down on the bed beside Sam and pulled him towards him.

"I'll be here all night you don't have to worry" John said softly. Sam nodded and closed his eyes again and slowly drifted off. John was watching Sam sleep until he heard a low chuckle coming from his oldest son.

"What the hell's your problem?" John demanded.

"You're cuddling with Sam that's what" Dean said. John shrugged.

"It's not like you don't do it, you're forever sneaking in hear when you're not supposed too."

"I'm his brother it's my job to protect him" Dean said, John shook his head. He really had placed too much responsibility on his eldest shoulders.

"No, it should have been my job from the start, I just lost track of it for a little while." John frowning "I won't be losing track of my priorities from now on." The talking went on for a few more minutes and the door opened and Fayelynn was rolled back into the room, her family followed behind, her mother's eyes were red as if from crying. John had the distinct feeling that they were given some very bad news.

Okay guys hope you like it, but don't blame you if you don't. thanks for reading and reviewing anyways and the I probably won't be updating as much do the fact that I am starting work on my first novel but hopefully I'll still be able to handle both without too much stress. Thanks for being patient. Liz


	17. Chapter 17

He's my son

Chapter 17

Sam woke to the sounds of movement in his room, when he opened his eyes, Fayelynn was packing her clothes. He frowned that didn't seem right to him, he couldn't remember if she'd ever even had a chemo treatment while currently hospitalized.

"Where you going?" he asked as he sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"I'm going home" Fayelynn said cheerfully as she finished packing her clothes. "Dad found another experimental drug from another hospital; we're going to give it a shot."

"Why aren't you doing it here?" Sam asked curious. Fayelynn frowned before answering.

"Because they don't think there's anything else they can do for me" She replied and Sam felt shocked. It couldn't be true that his friend of such a short time was dying.

"That's why I'm doing this, there's a chance it could prolong the inevitable and maybe by then they'll find another drug that will work for me." Sam shook his head; she always believed the best no matter what the situation.

"No worries though, I'll come visit you every day and when you get out because eventually you will, you can come see me" Fayelynn said, Sam nodded he didn't like the idea of the idea of her not being here with him but he figured he'd get used to it again. Fayelynn came over and sat down on his bed.

"You know that no matter what happens to me you will beat this right? You will be one of the few that can beat this disease?" She said as she wrapped him into a hug.

"How do you know?" Sam asked his voice coming out muffled.

"Because there's no way someone who does what you do will die before his time, you're still needed here, there's a plan for your life that will come to pass."

"What are you a fortune teller now?" Sam asked chuckling.

"No, I'm just a friend who knows exactly what you are going through and I know just how hard it is to have to go through treatment day in and day out."

"I'm glad to have gotten to know you" Sam said as Fayelynn stood to leave.

"You'll see me again no worries" she said as she headed for the door "just remember though tough times don't last but tough people do." Sam smiled and then Fayelynn was gone. It was only a few minutes later that he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Sam felt a tear slowly drip down his face as he put his foot in the church door. He didn't understand why Fayelynn had to die; they had only really started bonding because of the cancer. Life was like a bitter knife ripping her away from him when he needed her. Sam wasn't sure how he would be able to continue in his fight without her by his side. Sam swallowed hard, trying to keep the tears at bay, he'd cried enough for everyone these past few days. As he was pondering just how he was going to get through his own ordeal he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Sam, you don't have to be strong, we all know how much she meant to you" Dean said softly as he watched his brother, trying to be strong for both families.

"It's not fair Dean" he said lowly "She didn't deserve to die." Dean's heart broke as he watched another tear fall down his little brothers face. He wished he could this pain from Sam, to somehow make it to where this whole situation had never happened. He longed to go back to the days before Sam even had cancer.

"I know Sammy trust me I know" Dean said as he gently pulled his hurting little brother into his arms. "You don't know how much I hate this for you, but know this you're not alone. Me and Dad, we're going to see you through this." Dean hated seeing the grief in his little brother's eyes but he was serious he would do all he could to ease his little brother's pain. No kid should ever hurt as badly as his Sammy was. Sensing a dark gaze on his back Dean turned and looked right into the pure black gaze of a person waiting to get into the church.

_What the hell is a demon doing here? _Dean wondered as he got his father's attention and nodded towards the door. Whatever it had planned it wouldn't succeed. The Hunters knew it was there now, they would do whatever they could to let Sam get to say goodbye in peace. Dean glared and the human the demon currently wore smirked. She didn't care that they knew, after all what could a couple of humans do to stop her from having fun?

What John and Dean didn't see was that Mary was standing at the entrance to the church and she wasn't letting the demon pass through.

"You're not disrupting this service" she said "My son is going to get the chance to say a proper goodbye. You Shall not pass." That being said all Mary had to do was reach out and touch the demon and the demon disappeared.

"I'll be watching you Sammy" Mary said softly and a second later another angel appeared beside her. The other angel's eyes immediately fell on the crying Sam.

"Oh Sam" she said softly even though she no longer had a human body. She hurt seeing him like that.

"You shouldn't be here Fayelynn" Mary said gently though she knew why the other angel had come. "I'll watch over Sam and you're family, there is no need for you to worry."

"I wish I could hug Sam" Fayelynn said continuing to watch her weeping friends and family. She had always known that this could be the outcome of her fight with cancer.

"Sam will be okay, he's a very strong young man, and only getting stronger by the minute. He'll have a hard time for a while but it will get easier." Mary said "Besides I'm going to be with him, I will be there to help him."

"He's a very sweet kid please help him, and my parents and sister I can't stand the thought of them grieving." Fayelynn said looking back at her parents who were not talking with John.

"You don't have to worry" Mary said softly as she watched Fayelynn disappear. She looked over at Sam who was not sitting down in the second row behind Fayelynn's family. She hated that her baby was hurting so much but she knew that Dean and John would take good care of him and help him get through this time. Placing a ward on the church door she disappeared.

Sam and Dean made their way to their seats right behind Fayelynn's family. Faith was bouncing around as usual and Sam figured she didn't totally understand the concept of funeral. Faith looked over at Sam and softly asked:

"Where's Fayelynn why isn't she here?" she hadn't yet noticed the casket in front of the building with the picture sitting on top of it. Sam swallowed hard and looked down. She had asked the question with such innocence that Sam's heart broke. Tears fell down his eyes and he had to turn away, there was no way he would be the one to tell her that her sister wouldn't be coming home ever again. Music started playing and a soft voice filled the church.

I didn't know today would be our last

Or that I'd have to say goodbye to you so fast

I'm so numb I can't feel anymore

Praying you would just walk back through that door

And tell me that I was only dreaming

You're not really gone as long as I believe

There will be another angel

Around the throne tonight

Your love lives on inside of me

And I will hold on tight

It's not my place to question

Only God knows why

I'm just jealous of the angels

Around the throne tonight

You always made my troubles feel so small  
And you were always there to catch me when I'd fall  
In a world where heroes come and go  
Well God just took the only one I know  
So I'll hold you as close as I can  
Longing for the day, when I see your face again  
But until then

God must need another angel  
Around the throne tonight  
Your love lives on inside of me  
And I will hold on tight  
It's not my place to question  
Only God knows why  
I'm just jealous of the angels  
Around the throne tonight

Sam sobbed quietly as the song played, and Dean and John both put their hands on Sam's back and rubbed gentle circles on his back. They had known the funeral was going to be hard for Sam. they both wished it hadn't come down to this but alas it did which meant they would do their best to support Sam.

"She's not suffering anymore" John said softly in Sam's ear "she has her cure now."

"Some cure" Sam sobbed quietly "she's gone forever."

"I don't think she is" Dean said "I think she's with Mom and watching over you now." Sam knew his father and Dean were only trying to comfort him, but it didn't help soften the pain he was feeling. Sam didn't think anything would. He still remembered her as she was dying. She had pleaded with him to not give up just because she wasn't going to beat the cancer, it didn't mean that he couldn't. He remembered her lying on that hospital bed slowly getting weaker day after day, and slowly her she stopped functioning, she had deteriorated until she couldn't even hold her eyes open for a long amount of time. Sam had hated seeing her like that knowing that it wouldn't be long before she left them forever. His heart gave a throb as the music came an end and the Preacher started the service.

"We're here to celebrate the life of a young lady whose life was cut tragically short." He began "though short it might have been, Fayelynn lived to her fullest, and loved with everything she had. We will mourn her but we will also rejoice in knowing that she is no longer suffering, and that she has received the cure we have all so often prayed for. While we weep now, we have that hope we will someday see Fayelynn again, she just beat us to our final resting place." The preacher continued on for a few more minutes and Sam struggled to keep his cries quite though he knew everyone would understand, for they too hurt just as much as he did. Through the entire service John and Dean kept their hands on Sam's back in silent support. They wouldn't let him suffer alone.

As they got up to go say pay their respects John leaned over and whispered in Sam's ear.

"You don't have to be strong, we know how much you're hurting right now, and it's okay to show the world you're pain. No one will think any less of you for it."

"I agree with Dad" Dean said "today you have every right to fall apart." Sam nodded but didn't say anything and as he approached Fayelynn's casket, he felt himself grow weak in his knees as if his grief was about to bend him over.

Dean and John stood behind Sam as he placed his hand on the casket.

"I'm sorry" Sam cried softly his heart shattering into a million pieces leaving him with nothing but a black pit for a heart. "I wish it could have been me instead of you, you were so good and me and the things I do, there's nothing good about me. I deserved to die not you" he cried out as he finally collapsed onto the floor Dean and John both dropped to the floor with him and the both wrapped their arms around him even if it was a bit awkward.

"It should have been me" Sam cried out against John's chest, his fingers grabbing ahold of his father's shirt.

"Oh god Sammy" John said softly "Don't ever say that, me and Dean we couldn't live without you. You mean the world to us, but this time it was just Fayelynn's time to go. She doesn't deserve to suffer anymore."

"How am I beating cancer and she didn't?" Sam sobbed quietly "It's not fair."

John just held Sam closer wishing he could take his pain away. He didn't have the answers Sam needed but he wished he did. He wished that no child had ever heard of cancer. John held Sam close to his heart and let his baby cry god how it hurt hearing it. No father should ever have to listen to their child hurting like this.

As people continued to come up and pay their respects, they gave John and Sam the space they needed even though they were in front of the casket. They knew that Sam was also dealing with cancer and had been a good friend with their Fayelynn. He deserved to be able to take his time in saying goodbye.

Finally after what seemed like ages later, Sam had calmed down enough to be able to stand on his own. Looking at the picture that stood on top of her casket, Sam reached out and touched it gently  
"I'm going to miss you Angel, but I won't ever forget you and I won't ever stop fighting, I will win this fight for the both of us," Sam turned away and walked towards Fayelynn's parents.

Fayelynn's mother automatically wrapped Sam in a hug.

"Faye wouldn't want you to hurt like this" she whispered in Sam's ear. "She loved you like a brother even though you have only known each other for a short time."

"I loved her too" Sam said softly as tears filled his eyes again "But I didn't get nearly enough time with her, I actually thought she would be able to beat this."

"For a while there we all did" she said softly "but some things aren't meant to be, but she is much better off now. I couldn't stand to see her hurting and as much as my heart longs to have her in my arms again, I am also relieved that she doesn't have to go through chemo anymore." Sam nodded.

"Sam" she said seriously "just because she has left us, please don't give up fighting, just because it didn't happen for her it doesn't mean that it won't happen for you."

"I made a promise to Fayelynn that I wouldn't give up" Sam said "I intend to keep that promise." She hugged Sam again.

"Let us know when you're through with chemo okay, we will celebrate with you." Sam nodded and went back towards his family, he wasn't going to the graveside service because he didn't think he would be able to handle it despite his family's reassurances that it was okay if he lost it today considering his best friend on the entire planet had died.

"Are you sure you don't want to go?" Dean asked his brother as they climbed into the impala.

"Yes, I'm sure" Sam said "I'm worn out." _Emotionally and physically _Sam thought as he leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes.

_"Sam" a voice screamed at him and turned and looked at the bed opposite his. "I'm dead now and it's because of you! You are a grade A freak! It's no wonder you don't have any friends your bad luck runs off on them, and they die. You are nothing but a curse on this planet" an angry Fayelynn screamed at him as she reached over and shoved him._

_ "Do you know why I'm dead?" She asked leaning over him, getting in his face. "Do you?" Sam shook his head no._

_ "I'm dead because there's a demon roaming in the hospital, you were the one supposed to die, not me, but the demon took me because your family wouldn't let it have you. I wonder why?" she said "you're nothing but a loser and a freak, you deserve to have cancer, know this your family can only protect you for so long. The demon will kill you, it's only a matter of when." _

Sam came to, quickly when he realized his brother was shaking him pretty hard.

"What the hell Dean?" He muttered rubbing at his eyes before staring at his concerned father and brother.

"You were having a nightmare and it sounded like it was pretty bad one at that" Dean said his concern for his brother showing clearly in his eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really" Sam said as his mind drifted back to what the dream Fayelynn had been talking about.

"Whenever you want to talk you know I'm here" Dean said softly as he turned back around and gave his little brother a little privacy.

_Is it true? Did she die because of me? Can there really be a demon trying to get to me?_ Sam didn't know and it scared him that it could be true.

Suddenly he felt dizzy as he started shaking again and out of nowhere Sam shot straight up in his bed gasping, and covered in sweat.

"You okay Sammy?" John asked concerned at his youngest son's appearance.

"I'm okay" he panted breathing hard "I just had one hell of a bad dream." Dean stood and sat down on Sam's bed and rubbed his back gently.

"Can there be a demon that causes cancer?" he asked out of nowhere looking at his father who was completely surprised by the question.

"We think it's possible" John said "we're looking into it now, but we don't know anything for sure. Why?"

"Because I had a dream that there was a demon causing cancer and killed Fayelynn because it couldn't get to me" Sam said shivering as the horror of what had happened in the dream washed over him again.

"Fayelynn's going to be alright" Dean said "if there is a demon we will find a way to put a stop to it before it takes anyone else."

"I hope so" Sam said as he lay back on his bed, he still couldn't get the dream out of his head.

"Trust me when I say we are going to hunt that bastard down" Dean said "Come hell or high water we will put a stop to it." Sam chuckled.

"Okay big brother" Sam said trusting his brother enough to know that's exactly what Dean would do to try and help him through the nightmare that was known as cancer.

**If it makes sense the whole funeral was a dream and so Fayelynn is still alive. I like her too much to actually kill her. The song is called Jealous of the angels and it's by Jenn Bostic. You really should listen to it because it's absolutely beautiful. Anyways hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks as always for reading and reviewing. Have a great weekend. Liz**


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